Footnote

The suffocating mist was finally getting to me, but I had every reason to stay on, in this damp, dark corner. For once I thought I had found myself in the embrace of the little world that had accompanied me so many moments of my life, yet there were no roaming hands, no moaning sounds, and no stale smell of cum. But there was something else, there was him.

In one quick swipe, his lips were on mine and his hands, moving within the folds of my gym towel. I closed my eyes, already knowing that it was a bad idea, for the imageries flooded my mind, and then the quick and painful realization that you were taken, and so was I.

Oh Braving, are you back.

The Four Letter Word

Mr. A: Hi!

Braving: Harlow.

(Mr. A went all silent, as with all passive bottoms of the world, expecting you to pick up the conversation I suppose, which makes you wonder why they bother to say hi in the first place.)

Braving: OK, so how’s ur weekend?

Mr. A: Oh, I went to Sentul home.

Braving: Oh okies. Didn’t know you have a house in Sentul.

Mr. A: Oh no no, I went there with my friends for a show.

Braving: Hmm.. u meant to say you organized a show at your place?

Mr. A: No no no, I don’t stay there la. Haiye, this place in Sentul, just next to maper, how come you dunno one?

Braving: (Not wanting to pronounce an innocent soul guilty of misspelling a tree that he most probably has never seen in his life) Ah, you mean the Maple condo I believe. You watched a performance there? Where exactly is this place?

Mr. A: Haiyoh you really dunno hor. So big the signboard also you dunno? When you drive your car there, already at the entrance there got say ma so big the word – H O M E!

(A 30-sec silence ensued, as I struggled to catch my breath and recompose myself, from the stark realization of the place this guy was describing.)

Braving: Erm, darling, the name of the place is called KLPAC, not HOME. The four-letter word is YTL’s way of saying that they want you to call their properties in Sentul East/West just that when you’re here.


God have mercy on Malaysian gay men.

Have iPhone, Will Grind

Ok, so I have been summoned to put up this community service update for all the iPhone users out there.

Well if you’re gay and you have an iPhone, and you do not know this already, you will be delighted with this app. Grindr is basically a gay men dating app with a twist – it lists all fellow gay iPhone users around you, sorted by their relative distances from you, with the closest one appearing on the top of your list of course.

Throw in the ability to chat, exchange pictures, send maps of actual locations and the such, and you get an excellent social dating app, if nothing more than just a conversational piece over dinner.

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Epilogue)

Grace had always pride herself as being the most experienced, courteous, and attentive front-line staff of this chic restaurant. There was simply nothing that she had not seen or come across, or handled before. Yet tonight, the sight of a lone diner who opened the most expensive champagne stocked, only to down it all with two glasses and two sets of their most well-known steak was, admittedly, a sight uncustomary even to her.

The End

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Part Six)

Kevin suddenly gasped for air as he realised that he's forgotten to breath. This seemingly familiar space was eating into him, didn't matter that it's only his second visit. And its suffocating wetness, he didn't know if he'll ever get used to it. Against the breaking of the mist, Kevin found the tiled bench at the narrow turning again, as wet, and as empty as the first time. He gathered his towel and sat down slowly as the air twirled and danced its way around him.

There was a sickening recollection lingering in the air.

It was a hard few weeks for Kevin. His phone, as though having suffered an irreversible curse, would never be graced by the painfully-missed number again, no phonecalls, no messages. The pleasures that had momentarily blessed Kevin’s life, it was all but painfully too short-lived, and its departure too sudden.

Where did he go?

In a fit of frustration, Kevin yanked his towel away and let it dropped carelessly to the rough cement floor. He cupped his face with both hands, only to drag them downwards across his face and neck. There was a maddening void of pain as his nails ran deep into his skin.

And then Kevin was ready, he stood up now, and turn his naked body sideways to allow it to catch some of the muted sunlight filtering in from the windows near the entrance, and he started walking further into where the bench led him, into where the mist had held their secrets before this, into where the first encounter happened.

Kevin thought he heard a moan, and raised his hands to let his fingers lead the way. This evening, right here, right now, Kevin’s desperate fingers will taste the reassuring male form again.

Yet as the longing fingers’ journey fell short of their grand voyage, the only thing that welcomed them was not the familiar ripples of a well-built chest, or the rough stubbles of a carelessly shaved chin, but that of the misty, wet surface of a cold, hard mirror.

To be continued

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Part Five)

Within the comfort of his own bedroom, punctuated by the peaceful snoring of his wife, the world of Kevin Tan came crashing down. He stared at his phone, long and hard, pressed the keypad repeatedly, and triggered the power on and off countless times, yet all that came staring back at him was an horrorfully empty message inbox, an inbox that was just earlier this evening graced with an extended list of sms, those discrete exchanges of arrangements for secret meet-ups, of mushy heartfelt expressions, of painful longings and of mundane daily updates, there were screens after screens of those, yet not a single one of them remained now.

Kevin felt numb from the torrent of disbelief as he took on the final blow of tonight's discovery - the golden set of numbers, the one obtained from his sauna visit, his only access to the one who owned his heart now, was wiped out together with the message.

His mind churned and churned now for answers, this targetted attack could only have one objective in mind, and with one irrefutable suspect. But his wife had been so unsuspecting all these while, so much so that it was making Kevin very guilty. Yet guilt was Kevin's last concern at the moment, the growing void in his phone, his heart, was aching like a million needles, as fitting as it may be, one surge of piercing turmoil for every wave of blissful yearning.

However there was no room for confrontation tonight, Kevin was not emotionally equipped to face the exchanges that may ensue. The revolving ceiling fan somehow caught his eyes, and he stared at it for a good half an hour, before his trembling fingers finally surrendered and dropped the phone, overcome now with a sudden surge of helplessness and defeat. And then Kevin slumped into bed, heaved his final sigh for today, and slipped into the comforter and joined his wife.

To be continued

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Part Four)

Kevin was blushing still. He wound down the car window and let the torrent of fresh air this lovely Friday midnight hit his face. Streetlights fleeted past him, one by one at first, and then quickly blurred into a stream of dancing lines, of which radiance paled in comparison to the ecstasy written all over his reddened face. He stepped harder on the accelerator.

There wasn’t a single occasion in all his thirty-three years of life where he has blushed as hard, Kevin thought. He blamed the wine they had, not just any wine he proudly declared, but a 1978 Chateau Lafite Rothschild that he had kept for the most precious occasion. For a brief moment, he made the effort to check on the gaze of admiration as the bottle was popped open (there was a list of expressions to choose from) but Kevin's attention was quickly summoned back to the star of the night. This first meet up was as perfect as he had wanted it to be, the ambience, the conversations, the food, the surreal qualities of them all, Kevin almost convinced himself that he had dreamt all these up.

But his eager heart could not lie, and the bliss inconcealable; Kevin didn't make the effort to hide them at all, not to the waiters serving him, and certainly not to the other patrons that night. Everyone was undeserving of his attention tonight, everyone except one. His focus was unmistakably singular.

To be continued

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Part Three)

For the longest of time, Kevin stood in front of the row of vanity counters at the locker area, oblivious to the buzz of the crowd that was beginning to build up this Saturday evening. In his hand was a strip of glossy magazine paper, hurriedly torn from the corner of an aging library from the lounge area, slightly crumpled, yet on it a series of numbers were scribbled. Kevin tried but could not take the sight off them, nor could he his fingers. This unassuming piece of paper, it smelled of the prized reward of countless late nights of research, of the well-rehearsed reasoning to his wife and children, of deception, yet sweetened liberation.

He tightened his grasp on the paper and slowly tasted its significance.

Kevin thought, there was a blur on the event leading to this, he tried to recall as he watched his own reflections in the large mirror in front of him, but he realised it didn't really matter perhaps, as all he knew at that moment was he had liked what he saw, this encounter of his in the steam room, and he now had a mean of staying in touch with him. In his head, Kevin was churning with an unfamiliar wave of excitement and the possible thrills this may bring. As the heart raced faster and faster, Kevin knew all too well that his earlier plans of this being a one-off, fuss-free exploration of nursing his curiosity was now being spitted into the sink like a pitiable lump of puss and hastily rushed down the sinkhole.

To be continued

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Part Two)

From a temporary clearing of the steam, Kevin squinted and saw the first sign of life in this lost, muted world. A mild, involuntary shiver travelled his body as he shifted his sitting position on the wet tiled bench and adjusted and readjusted his views to piece together the physical being that was starting to form at the other end. First came the lightly tanned arms, perched against the edges of the bench, droplets of water flowing downwards and disappearing between the fingers. And then the sharp jaw lines, the lightly parting lips, and the prominent sideburn, as painstakingly trimmed as his own, Kevin thought.

He welcomed a sense of familiarity to this sight.

For the longest time nothing moved, this desolate quiet world stripped of all sounds, except for the travelling gust of steam, ever hissing and expanding and filling every cracks on the rough cement floor and walls. Kevin let out a breathless sigh, and watched as the steam in front of him parted and twirled away. His way of saying hi perhaps.

And then there was the hurried decision, Kevin knew he could not entertain the risk of having second thoughts, he was already too far away from the grasp of his mundane life, this was his moment. But he couldn't bear too the fact that he had dug so low, lower than the begging gaze of the ill-performing secretary that he had told off earlier this morning. There was a disconnect now between him and the trembling hand that was slowly stretching forward, sideways, towards the figure. From the corner of his eyes, Kevin watched as his fingers poked into the steam, and faded into a blur of shadows.

He closed his eyes now, imagining what the sight would be if he were to grow eyes on the tip of his index fingers. There was no plan on where exactly to plant them anyway. This, strange, peculiar act of saying hi, this singular moment of eager anticipation of landfall, with all its unspeakable undercurrent of guilt and fun, indeed was as far as Kevin as gone before.

To be continued

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Part One)

The air was a sickening mix of lukewarm mist and a strange stench of stale sweat, yet Kevin was grateful for this half-baked setup, he wouldn't survive for more than three minutes if the steam were to be a tad more enthusiastic. At the very spot after the glass-door entrance, he stood there for a good while, blinking and breathing calmly, getting used to the limited visibility. And then slowly, he stumbled forward along the narrow path in front of him, thanking the stray evening sunlight filtering in from the dusty windows for showing the way.

It's all very quiet in here. Kevin swore that he had counted not less than 15 people entering this maze while he was deliberating his next moves outside the corridor, yet apart from the occasional hissing of steam and a distance dripping of perhaps a leaky pipe, Kevin strained his ears but heard only his own heartbeat as he landed on a bench at the end of the path.

Beyond this, a darkened turn bathed in mystery, and unspeakable, unimaginable fun. Fun, that Kevin could have only read online and fantasize about as he led a life that had been laid out dutifully before him. But now, this strange, new world before his eyes was finally materialising. Nights of fighting the urge to stray from the rightful path finally saw defeat, utter defeat, as he now inched forward into the embrace of the darkened corner of a gay sauna, clad only in a thin towel, vulnerable, confused.

Yet eager to explore.

BravingKL Short Story - The Shadows That Were (Prologue)

At the very end of the darkened corridor, a solitary hand emerged, did an unintelligible gesture, and was never seen again. Was the pain from trying to figure out what its gesture meant, or in waiting for its return?

The Fan

I can't remember what triggered it to be exact, but Kel slapped the table in an act of animated glee and started giggling like the happiest kid in the world, all for the patrons on a busy Saturday night in Dome KLCC to see.

I have to say that the contorted expressions didn't quite go well with his generous coat of facial hair and the dark-frame specs, but still, it made my day.

"So what do you remember most about this gay blog that you used to read?" I asked.

"Oh, I normally would just quickly glance through, but the pic taken of two guys holding hands is still fresh in mind."

I looked away, towards the park entrance glass doors just meters away, and reminised the scene about a year back, I think, that singular minute of frantic digging for my digital camera in the gym bag, followed by an unabashed attempt at inching closer to the unsuspecting couple to snap the scandalous body language in action.

"And oh, those before-and-after pics showing the wonders of photoshop is fun too!" Kelvin's facial parts had snapped back into place, but he's still in high spirits.

"Haha, must be something to behold." At this point, I was beginning to wonder if he'll ever touch on the more scandalous stuff like sauna floor plans, but to my pleasant surprise, he never did. Must be a recent follower.

"I wonder why he never write anymore." Kel looked my way and said. And then I put down the set of fork and spoon, and reached for my glass of warm water.

Fragments

one of three
3am was not ungodly an hour for Newo to call. In between his quick-paced chatter, I could hear his labored pants. The little ascent along the slopes to Frangi couldn’t be that tough, he admitted that he was indeed rather drunk. From his incessant mumble, I concluded that he called to lecture me about something I did of which details I could no longer recall. Still, his undeniably charming, intoxicated voice stuck like a magnet. Damn, he kept me awake the whole night.

two of three
Avidog promised to cook me pasta for the rest of my life. Not just any pasta, I told him. It’s got to be spicy olio spaghetti. He wouldn’t be of much use anymore if I could just kidnap the chef working in Dome, but then he goes “all the chef in Dome are basically Bangladeshi and your favourite pasta is pre-prepared in the central kitchen and sent to each outlet”. Hmm I can’t live with a Bangladeshi my whole life, can I?

three of three
Braving: you left your toothbrush here last night.
Misu: yes, I did.
Braving: you know the other day I just threw away five.
Misu: I’ll just use yours.

Wake Me Up

Wake me up when December is over
Turn the rainbow wheel and hit a colour
Dragging sofa over timber flooring
Withered flowers grouped in mourning

Wake me up when December is over
Spilt rosemary oil over clay diffuser
Gentle wind through cold gray shades
Mindlessly sweet words that we love to hate

Wake me up when December is over
Balinese massaging clay and fuckingly hot shower
Countless courting that leads to nothing
Soap operas with no ending

Wake me up when December is over
Search the fields for a four-leaf clover
Jazz music on crumbled sheets
Chilly Pudong out of reach

Wake me up when December is over
When the sighs are gone, and days less tougher
Tealight candles and green tea latte
A morning of hopefuls, a brand new day

Christmas

A little Christmassy cheer, I couldn’t help gasped at the sight of the dreamy Christmas tree, its welcoming warmth, like a beacon of love, broke through the dusty night air, and pulled me towards it with every step. I just had to surrender myself.

Café Café was just as I had left it. About a year back I think? The silent face from across the other table, he’s still there. That was the philosophical day that never quite happened, never meant to happen. We exchanged smiles.

A little candle holder I soon found nearer to my face, and so had dancing shadows graced my every laughter and delight as seafood and sun-dried tomatoes tickled my tongue. Do I look tensed? I swear the sultry tunes of Édith Piaf wasn’t helping at all.

The iPhone really shouldn’t be on the table. Its very presence is a vivid contrast to the darkened nostalgia gracing every single piece of ornament in this quiet space. And too, the distraction posed a challenge too great for me not to submit to. I pinched the screen and resized photos, as though I have not resized a photo in my life before.

And a proposal. To Penang I hear? Couldn’t give no for an answer, could I. But I could count with both hands the days of which this new turn has unfolded. But really let’s just pinch my nose and jump right in, splash myself a torrent of emotions again. The silly games people play, and the silly people games play.

Whatever happens next, I still have the Christmas tree to dream about, at least.

A Silent Shade Of Gray

A silent shade of gray, it comes like a dream gone bad. I wish I had not messaged you in MSN that Monday afternoon, then you would not have had the opportunity to say goodbye. And then perhaps we could have dragged this impossible fairy tale on a little longer, doesn’t matter if you had wanted to tell me this since two weeks ago, I think I can wait another two years.

A silent shade of gray, resonates with the gentle murmur of Nicole’s car engine as the gang did a cross-country to Klang for seafood. I wish I had not laid on your lap throughout the journey, thinking to myself that I had not felt so contended with life for a very long time. Then perhaps I would not have sunk so deep into your insecurities and your lies, and found myself with a broken sense of reasoning, broken beyond repair.

A silent shade of gray, lost in the hectic bustle of a busy wet market. I wish you had not come along with me and Mum for our weekly marketing, and sat with us for breakfast at our favourite eatery. How am I suppose to now return there, week after week, buying the same fruits, the same vegetables, drinking the same iced tea, and not see you with every churning of my thoughts.

A silent shade of gray, caressing the dreamy KL skyline on a rainy Saturday afternoon. I wish I have refused your feeding me with soya bean milk with your mouth. It’s absurdly sweet, your lips. Then perhaps I would not be so hopelessly drunk from consuming your infectious affection and attention, and got myself emotionally incapable of loving myself again.

A silent shade of gray, a persistent numb that leaves me breathless with every recollection. I wish I have fought your initial enthusiasm, your shameless need to pursue me, your undying urge to see me every minute of the day, and your endless pursuit to be a part of my life. Fought you hard to kill the root of all evil. But I let you in, further than I should have, let you sink your footing into everything that matters to me so that I would then see your wicked prints on every page of my life.

A silent shade of gray, a gentle shroud of painful memories, a sickening throbbing of piercing sting, a miserable collection of expired passion, on the bed, on the pillows, on the toothbrush that you left behind, on your water flask that Mum would fill for you when you stay the night, on the dining table where you fed me my cough syrup, on the patio where you kissed me goodbye, on every square inch of the apartment that your have graced with your presence.

On me.

A silent shade of gray, I wish I had not known you.

BRAVEHEART ^[109]

The Reason Why I Think Mum Has Given Me Her Blessings

Well that's how she had placed our toothbrushes on the bathroom countertop last week.

A Fuzzy Beginning

Love comes when you least expect it to. In the case of Aikidosan who had just turned and looked at me in the darkness of the cinema hall, I just could not recall anymore the string of events that brought us here. We caught each other’s glances and hung on for a few seconds, and then he gave me a silly pinch on my right ear, and we shifted our attention back to the movie.

Was it from gay.com? I would go there on those occasional evenings when I am really bored, and end up with far too many chat windows that I could possibly handle, and then a bunch of msn contacts that would remain dormant and ultimately turn stale and get deleted in a few weeks’ time.

Or perhaps you belong to one of those Fridae folks that I’ve been mindlessly exchanging hearts with? Those folks who, besides hearts, I have not exchanged much of anything else with.

But it doesn’t matter anymore, Aikidosan ultimately broke away from the fuzzy clutter and held up his resume right at my face. He made his intentions known despite the distance, and he persevered despite my self-protective arrogance - any sane man would stop sms’ing after the 4th unreplied message.

And so we would end up where we are today, at the start of a journey, doesn’t matter how long or short it would travel, and where it actually began, I really have no idea.

You just never know what you’ll get, this internet thing.

Braving: “So tell me how we met again?”
Aikidosan: “Erm, can I see you again tomorrow?”

Kakiku: A Map of Indulgence (Updated)

(click on images for larger views)

Be The Man

If you're a man, and you're gay, and you've never felt like you belong anywhere in this world, Mangay's collection of ladies accessories will make you feel right at home.

The BravingKL Pink Districts: Bukit Bintang 1 (Updated)

(Click on image for larger view)

Gayvilion:
Positioned strongly on the top of the pink hangout destination of Klang Valley is Gayvilion (also known as Pavilion to the straight folks), the spanking new pride of the queer world.

Barely one year since its opening, this swanky mall quickly rose to become the hub of all homo-activities outside the clubbing world. Come sashay down the wide airy aisles in your Prada shoe or your LV bags, or find time to add another Versace to your collection. And then head over to Starbucks café on the street level, and join the highest concentration of caffeine-sipping sisterhoods on a weekend day-out for some people-watching.


Lot 10:
This 18-year-old mall has long lost its luster (if it ever had any), long before Gayvilion came into the picture. However, the recently announced RM20million facelift project YTL may inject some excitement back into this sleepy green building.

http://www.ytlcommunity.com/commnews/shownews.asp?newsid=39055


Dome Café:
This former favourite haunt for the pink community has unfortunately been reduced to a sorry state of affairs with the escalating popularity of Gayvilion. Obviously lacking now in any sinful queer activities that once call this joint home, there seems to be a revival of wholesome family gatherings on weekends, though in numbers that will never match the former. Dome Café has definitely seen its better days, but of course if you still miss their overpriced food and drinks, and their sticky chairs and claustrophobic washrooms, the manager eagerly welcomes you.


Bambusa:
The accessibility and convenience of this once-flourishing gay sauna was ironically what led to its demise. It’s an unwritten rule that all saunas, given their (debatable) negative moral implications, must be situated in seedy backlanes (Otot-Otot), or in sleepy commercial areas that are deserted on weekends (Mandi-Manda) or in areas peppered with similarly seedy gay massage outlets and infested with foreign workers (Kakiku).

Thus, having half-naked men parading their bodies in a balcony directly overlooking the bustling Jalan Bukit Bintang, despite being heavily camouflaged with leafy trees and bamboo blinds), definitely falls out of the comfort zone of the authorities, leading then to multiple high-profile raids and finally its death.


Blue Boy Disco:
Long before the queer crowd parades the classy patio of MarketPlace, this unpretentious disco was already a bustling joint for the Malay crowd and their admirers. With the lures of the more glittery outlets nowadays, I guess alot of the crowd has long moved on.

A Step Into Love

Design 1 opens with a stomp, followed by a dizzying pivot turn on-board and then a back mambo and two triple-step around the end, before moving in with a quick hectic switch and a dramatic scissor cha-cha and repeater knee straddle, and ends with shuffle straddle and a double lunge. Our eyes alternate between looking at our step boards and at you, our beloved step instructor. Filling the deepest recess of our minds, we greedily take in every explosion of masculinity that would travel from your defined arms to the ripples of manliness beneath your fitting sleeveless tee, and then to the tight layers of pure energy blessing your godly legs.

Design 2 starts off with a two-count pose on-board, and immediately picks up the momentum with a Charleston kick/L-stomp combo, and then a Chassee pivot, followed by a cha-cha, gallop and rocking horse, before taming down to a split basic, and finally a diagonal crossover cha-cha to home. From the loudest of step music, our ears pick up your husky voice, delivering cues after cues with a seemingly bottomless pit of energy source, emanating from between your luscious lips to the darkest corners of our souls, each and every one of us, the steppers in the studio, we have come from all corners of the Klang Valley again to worship you today.

Design 3 explodes into action with a potent Chelsea kick and a frantic back full-circle flip off the edge, before another half-circle turn on-board and an Elvis and shit! I forgot what's next because you have stopped to look at how we're doing and your reassuring eyes have landed on me even if it's just for one tenth of a second. I must have looked like a complete idiot standing there and just clumsily repeating the basic step that I was stuck at. Came a full half-hour before the class starts to jealously guard this spot that allows me an unobstructed line-of-sight to you, yet I fell victim to your mesmerizing gaze.

Design 4 kicks off with a half salsa with a gallop and then a tango switch combo on-board before upping the beat with a hysterical, almost impossible triple alternating switch that sent us flying from one end of the board to another. Barely time to breath, and we’re flying again with a half-turn flick and a starburst followed by a back mambo and double stomp and spin over. In between gasping for air, and catching up with the wicked beat, we are reminded yet again of the source of our adrenalin rush, your inexhaustible energy, your arresting smile, your upbeat personality and your silly chuckle, and then there is the unmistakable sweaty patch on your Adidas pants that is unabashedly revealing the triangular shape underneath.

We cheer as you signal for us to repeat the entire routine for the eighth time in a row, and for once could not tell if the heart is throbbing from the frenetic moves or from the very sight and sound of you. We kick, and we stomp, and we flick our legs, then we spin and then we kick some more. Your very presence is our shining source of inspiration and energy; we say this with our breaking legs and our labored breath.

And then, all the things that we want to say but could never do, we quietly whisper them as the cool-down music plays, and as we stack the step boards neatly back into place, and we would whisper them again for one last time, and then leave them in our aching hearts.

Candle light and soul forever
A dream of you and me together
Say you believe it, say you believe it

Free your mind of doubt and danger
Be for real don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it

Come a little bit closer baby,
get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one

A Queer Day

Is the Malaysian society ready to embrace such outward expressions of affection from the pink community, in a crowded shopping mall choked with wholesome family activities? Well we trailed these lovebirds for 50 meters, and it seemed not a single alarm bell was raised.

Marvellous.

The BravingKL Total Photoshop Makeover

Are you hitting the gym on a daily basis and working your butts out at the free weights area but yet grimace at the sight of the loose layers of fat that have stubbornly clung on to your body like how the Type C uncles stick their soapy bods to the frosted partition in the showers?

Well unfortunately the miracle no-sweat workout pill has yet to be invented, but if you are dying to look great for the once-in-a-lifetime photo, then wait no longer, because Photoshop is here to your rescue.

And what better way to demonstrate the miracles of Photoshop then to use real-life examples of photos kidnapped from Fridae? Come witness now the jaw-dropping transformation of less-than-desirable bods into the Type A championship mouth-watering versions that many of us spend countless hours in the gym working towards.

Before:


After:


Before:


After:


Before:


After:


Before:


After:

The KL Pink Districts: KLCC

Market Place:
Finally, here comes an invigorating breath of fresh air in the KL’s clubbing scene, away from the ill-maintained and cikus-infested tasteless La Queen. The name ‘MarketPlace’ sounds rather unglam at first, but it may be truly reflective of what happens in a gay club where rumours fly and tomorrow’s breaking news for local pink blogs and Fridae profiles are exchanged, debated and confirmed.

The dance floor is miserably small, but at least it now comes equipped with the magical podiums where semi-decent folks are immediately transformed into attention-whoring half-naked gyrating bodies of flesh.

MarketPlace’s real gem lies in the abundance of outdoor patio areas to catch your breath and get away from the dizzying disco lights and perhaps finally catch up with the hot hunk that you’ve been eyeing the whole night at. Check out the outdoor bar area that affords you a glimpse of the semi-hidden twin towers up close. Plus, if you’re feeling cheapskate, there’s a huge bright curry house next door to adjourn to for more drinks and supper.

The BravingKL Fridae Guide: On Handling Messages

There is a certain kind of message that you should avoid like a plague in Fridae – the DBKL Message. These are the mass-produced, impersonal messages that are copied and pasted to Fridae from a template, and sent over and over again by their owners, to whoever members they fancy.

One shining example can be seen here.

The (in)famous traits of the DBKL Message are:

• Your name is missing from the message. For example, it starts with just a ‘Hi.’, instead of a ‘Hi Kelvin’.
• It comes with questions asking about at least 5 of the following details of you - name, hometown, current location, stat, msn address, contact number, top or bottom, hobbies and work. This is regardless of whether or not you have already included them in your profile - they are in an awful hurry and cannot be expected to go through your stuff.

It normally ends with a way of getting in touch with them, either via msn, mobile number, or email.

Obviously, their behaviours are closely related to those of Active DBKL, as their rather low QC means that they simply find themselves overwhelmed with too many profiles to send messages to, such that they have no time to personalized each and every one of these messages.

Analysing the traits above will then produce an anti-thesis of DBKL Message – the extremely more successful Class A Message that is a unique, more personalized effort in establishing the first contact with the Type A of your dream.

Here are some tips on composing a Class A Message:

• Address him by his name. We know that may not be obvious at first, but more often, it can be, if you pay attention to the profile name.
• Keep it short and simple. Don’t offer to give a lengthy account of your day or explain the grandmother story of how you came out of the closet in your first message to him.
• Personalised! Give comments and ask relevant questions that are more likely to interest him. Run through his photos and profiles to get an idea. For example, ask him where he took the picture of the beautiful sunset in one of his photos, or tell him how adorable the dog that appears in over 60% of his photos is.
• Always ensure that your messages have questions in them, so that he will feel more motivated to reply you. If all you do is to answer all his questions, but never post any for him, it may just end the entire exchange prematurely, as you risk coming across as a self-centered, self-infatuated Princess.
  

One important note that we’ll like to stress: 70% of Fridae message exchanges end after the exchange of MSN addresses. Some members somehow appear to be avid collectors of MSN addresses, because once they obtained this piece of information about you, it seems like you’ll never hear from them again.

Two possible explanations arise:

• The comfort that they now have your MSN addresses means that they are sure they’ll be able to get in touch with you whenever they want to, but they always end up occupied and so will never do. Psychologically, this is not unlike the fact that you do not visit a tourist attraction in your vicinity because you know that it’ll always be there for you when you finally feel like visiting it.
• Your may be drown in their MSN contact list, of which member count tallies at 1000 and is growing by the day. They simply do not notice you as they browse through their contact list.
  

Thus for higher success rate, keep the conversation going in Fridae for at least 5-8 rounds, or until you feel positive that an MSN contact will be sustained, before revealing this important detail.

The BravingKL Fridae Guide: On Members with No Photos

The sisterhood unanimously concluded that 95% of members who don’t have any photos in their profiles are regrettably Type C, that is perhaps even after the rescue of some level of Photoshop editing.

The remaining 5% of these members may come with Type A or B looks, but could be just too freakingly deep in the closet that it’s not worth the investment of your time, because you may end up just chatting with them in MSN or phone forever and never meet up, or if you ever do meet up with them, it’ll be forever in some obscure F&B outlets far from civilization, and then you’ll risk being dumped in the middle of dinner or movie if they ever caught sight of someone whom they know, for example like their grand auntie’s third daughter’s neighbour’s son.

The BravingKL Fridae Guide: On Members with Photos

The sisterhood believes that the population of members with photos in their profiles can be broken down into the following 3 main categories:

Members with clear & identifiable public face-pics – 65%:
These members, regardless of whether they are Type A, B, or C, are obviously not shy about showcasing themselves to the entire online population. These are folks who have comfortably come to terms with their sexuality and many will turn out to be genuinely nice people.

Members with non face-pics public photos – 20%:
These members employ some level of anonymity via photo-taking or PhotoShop techniques to showcase blurry photos, photos of silhouettes or outlines of their face and body features, or camouflaged photos (generally just photos of buildings or sceneries with the member posing as passer-by in an obscure corner of the photo, so that you’ll need to squint to find them, and when you do find them, you’ll can’t tell if it’s really them or their mother-in-laws or pets).

Also included in this category are members who put photos of everything else under the sun and moon in their profile, such as photos of their belongings (like pets, plants, perfume collection etc), photos of famous actors and porn stars and pure scenery shots.

A breakdown of these members:

• 90% of these members would regrettably turn out to be a Type C
• 10% of these members could still be a Type A or B, but could have an extremely low self-esteem, or more likely, have not come to terms with their sexuality yet, and thus may present imminent challenges commonly found among closeted folks.
  

Members with pics of body parts only – 15%:
These members choose to present you with the achievements of the countless hours spent in the gym, or photo proof of how well-equipped they are down there. (Of course, for members of different roles, this could be referring to the ‘provider’ tool in front, or the ‘acceptor’ tool behind).

Out of these members:

• 60% of them actually may have presentable Type A or B faces, but chose instead to focus your attention on their body, leaving us to conclude that there can only be one thing in their mind – sex.
• The remaining 40% have regrettably Type C faces, and so are left with the only option of marketing themselves via the showcasing of their Type A or B body parts.

The BravingKL Fridae Guide: On Replying Hearts

Are you the type who log on to Fridae everyday and head over to your hearts page the first thing, only to find yourself confronting a list of hearts from the same old members, day after day, without fail?

Well, the sisterhood believes that, if you have exchanged 3 to 4 rounds of heart with the exact same member, and it doesn’t seem like there will be any other follow-up actions from it (such as exchange of messages or chatting in msn), then don’t bother replying their hearts anymore, coz they’re most probably doing a non-selective heart-replying action on a daily basis, or better known as the DBKL Reply (i.e. sending hearts to every tom, dick and harry on their friends or bookmark list). This means, they actually won’t realize that you have stopped replying to their hearts, and thus will continue to send you hearts day after day till time immemorial.

Of course, if a particular member is your Type A (remember the Desirability Scale?), you would naturally have already taken the initiative to write to him. But in general, for higher success rates, invest more time on hearts received from someone NEW, especially if it’s accompanied with a message or a ‘Add Friend’ request (this means YOU are his type A, baby!).

And if you are the ones guilty of doing the non-selective heart-replying. Shame on you! Exactly what kind of fat hopes are cooking in your head!? We believe you may consider spending more time doing another set of chest pumps in the gym, or enjoying another application of facial mask on the sofa.

The BravingKL Guide to FRIDAE

Another topic of conversation that inevitably dominates our sisterhood dinners these days is Fridae. Yes, it’s supposedly THE premier gay personals site for Singapore and Malaysia (and some say Thailand, Taipei and Japan too). We find it fulfilling to share our experiences of how we spend our precious online moments staring into the screen browsing profiles and replying hearts and messages, and how we deal with the multitudes of colourful characters that would grace our myFridae page everyday.

Naturally this evolves into our respective observations and analysis of the entire Fridae culture, followed by a semi-heated debate to advocate, challenge or clarify on each others’ viewpoints, and finally a collection of conclusions and best practices that we would unanimously agree and apply, which shall now be known as the

• The BravingKL Guide to FRIDAE

Stay tuned!

The BravingKL Desirability Scale

The sisterhood dinners have been getting rather productive lately. While savouring our meals, we find it necessary to engage ourselves in challenging discussions that help to analyse and address some of the common topics and issues that are close at heart to the gay community in KL.

Inevitably peppering the discussions are Men, Men and more Men. (OK, we can be shallow and deep at the same time). So we find it absolutely necessary to create an analysis that would easily facilitate any references to Men.

Sindy was the first one to propose this, and then we collectively worked on improving the definitions and analysis, which I will now present to you as:

• The BravingKL Desirability Scale

The scale helps to break down and group all men into 3 main categories:

• Type A: These are men who have what it takes to make you want to pursue them. This is not specific to just physical appearances, but may include the entire package with factors such as intellectuality and financial stability.
• Type B: These are men who may not trigger the rush in you to want to pursue them, but if he come after you, you wouldn’t mind dating him. In other words, he’s a convenient option.
• Type C: These are men whom you would never consider dating, even if he’s making all the moves to pursue you.

All three categories can then be further broken down into 2 sub-categories each:

• Type A1: These are the rare Prince Charmings in your life! You not only think of pursuing them, but you take active action to do so.
• Type A2: These are your princes who fall short of certain qualities so that you would just only think of pursuing them, but may not actually do so if they do not send a positive signal your way.
• Type B1 and B2: The distinction between B1 and B2 are not as clear, but generally you will succumb to the pursuits of B1 better than B2.
• Type C1: These are the general guys who do not interest you at all.
• Type C2: You would rather commit suicide than to date him.

Having the scale now properly defined, we then set out to plot a variation of graphs showing the number of guys that fall in the three main categories. Everyone naturally have very different plots of his own desirability chart. We find it interesting to analyse some of them here:

The standard plot reflects the normal distribution of men that we would encounter in our daily lives, judged against the generally-accepted standards in society. Naturally we would expect to find Type A the fewest, followed by Type B, and then those that we would normally filter as Type C.

DBKL are people who set a relatively low standard of quality-control for their men, translating into the fact that they would seem to find almost every single man they encounter to be attractive. The active DBKL's, who are naturally inclined to make the first move, will thus find most men plotted around the Type A vicinity. Studies conducted by the BravingKL Institute of Studies of Gay Men reveals that more than 95% of Active DBKLs are Type C, while the remaining are Type A or B who suffer from a permanent disorder that affects their visual judgements and signifcantly lowered their quality control, symptoms commonly exhibited by a drunken man.

The passive DBKL, while also finding most men that they encounter to be attractive, will not make the first move to pursue them. But if any one of these men do, then the success rate is rather high, if not always a 100%. Thus passive DBKL's find most men plotted in the Type B category. The study confirms that Passive DBKL shares the same social model as Active DBKL.

The princess believes she is too good for anyone, and thus sets impossibly high standards for the man in her life. She ends up with very few men who fulfills her type A and B criteria. Almost everyone is a Type C in her eyes. The same study reveals that only a fraction of Self-Infatuated Princesses are Type A, while in general, all of them suffer from a permanent dillusion of their own attributes due to various factors such as forgetting to install mirrors in their bathrooms.


The scale has since been healthily adopted so far in our daily lives. Among some of the examples of how this is peppered in daily conservations:

• "Type A coming, at your four-o-clock."
• "I can’t believe I’m just his type B!"
• "I don’t mind a type B tonight."
• "A table full of C’s."

A Delicious Affair

So is Delicious @ Bangsar Village 2 the new PLU hangout in town? I was there with Nicole, Sinderella and Jessica for dinner on Saturday and there was at least one sisterhood sighting every other minute!
First the gang caught Ah Lian, the FF instructor, sashayed past our table in her tight fitting sleeveless tee while on her way to the entrance to meet her gym sisters.

Barely two minutes had past, when we detected a rapidly escalating concentration of hiao power near the entrance - Veronica, yet another FF celebrity instructor and her faghag gang had just made an appearance, standing there for time immemorial while scouting for vacant dinner tables. And with them was Jamie from Sindy's extended sisterhood.

Before the confetti settled, Janice the TF GX instructor who happens to be my colleague as well emerged before us, not holding hands with his new potential (whom we're all dying to know the identity of), but pushing a baby pram instead!

"Ya Allah! I didn't know you're a mother liao!" The group exclaimed unanimously while staring at the baby who must be like at least 15 months old.

"My niece la!" Janice rolled her eyes but could not afford anything more sisterly than that as her parents and siblings already caught up with her on their way out of the restaurant.

By now the gang was already on the lookout for other sightings, and in came LK, my ex colleague, with two of her sisters. Thought he didn't see me, but we were soon engaged in a brief SMS conversation.

"Hello darling. Next week party in bkk he he."

"Yeah gorgeous, can't wait!"

Before the end of dinner, Sindy announced that we will need to make an effort to dress up when we drop by again.

"Yerr.. Let my potential see me in this, so not glam."

The Love Of Dance

What would you do for the love of dance, especially when you know it's gonna be the last proper dance class in Fitness First? Well, you naturally go all way out and hit the dancefloor/studio, literally, with your knees while doing the floor routines.

Showed Jimmy my bruises, and he said "Take that as my souvenir for you for attending my last Cardio Dance class."

At least I don't really need any knee pads anymore, do I?

The Ultimate Introduction

XXX to BravingKL in Fridae:

hi, i m XXX here. mind 2 b fren? whats ur name? hometown from? nw stay where which part stay with who? stat? msn? u r t/b? looking 4? msn? how u spend ur free time? nw work or study? if work, work as? if study, taking what course? any contact no.? sorry 4 cz i seldom online, hope u dun mind. anyway, hope 2 hear from u soon...regards, XXX

BravingKL to XXX:

oh gosh xxx! thanks for the wonderful introduction template! are you like sending this to each and every Fridae member individually? but that's like so troublesome!!! why don't I just help you post this to my blog instead? I'm sure my readers will find it very useful. Don't worry, I will give credits to you of course for coming up with such an extensive list of questions in so little words. I dunno what else anyone would want to ask actually. And no, it's ok, you don't need to thank me really. Great job! ;)

The Doctor

The doctor was silent, he seemed lost in his own world. I used to worry the first few times he did that, but it seems like it's just his way of nursing a persistent migraine. I asked him about his on-call schedules for next week, had to repeat myself as he was soon busy tapping on my left collar bone with his fingers.

“Good bone mass!” He declared with an air of animated satisfaction, I had to roll my eyes.

He then reached over and tried to tap my right collar bone, and we got into a pretty nasty anti-tickling rampage/ wrestling exercise right on the bed, throwing the comforters off their perfect arrangement. Mum's gonna frown for sure (not for to the sight of four pairs of entangled limbs - that would bring up her infamous selective memory loss syndrome instead, but at the sorry state of the crumbled comforters). Did a quick check of the door, she had not been alarmed by the commotion. Good.

But my poor naked collar bones, I had to hold on to them even after we had settled down to keep them safe from the inquisitive fingers of a well-trained doctor, whose face was now inching towards my chest instead. There was no handy statoscopes around, he'll need to go much closer to check the heartbeat.

“So I’m now your mistress?” The doctor asked suddenly.

Silence. It’s my turn to be lost in my world. I said nothing, I don’t think he’s expecting me to.

Grimace

The barbells felt heavier today. I grabbed it just as firmly with both my hands. Against the gloves my palms savoured the roughness of the handle just the same and I thought I felt a tinge of sadistic satisfaction rising to my head. Looked myself straight on in the mirror, and as I grimaced to complete just one more set, I asked what sense were all these making.

And then I moved on to work on my abs.

The Sisterhood Photoshoot Of The Year

The black backdrop was up, general and directional lightings arranged and lit, make-up applied, dresses and accessories ready, Madonna songs playing in the background, camera in position and Mum obediently locked up in the bedroom.

Finally, the stage was set for my most challenging photoshoot assignment of the year.

Lights, Camera, Drama!

(The release of the full set of these shots is under the discretion of the two models.)