Sunday, November 06, 2005

My Towel Club Superstars

Mr Malaysia:
Armed with a sexy heart-shaped patch of chest hair on his toned body, Mr Malaysia made his presence felt with the slightest effort. One clean sweep and I found myself buried in his tight embrace, bringing my orientation tour for my newbie sisters around Singapore’s most happening sauna to a premature end. Exuding earthly charms was his unassuming smile and his unpretentious form of English that was miraculously spared from any Singlish influences despite having lived and worked there for 15 years. We joked, wrestled and exchanged massage tips but I had to stop him from breaking into a full-fledged presentation of the latest Cantopop from Leo Ku right there in the room amidst peals of moanings and sighings from the other rooms. Mr Malaysia left early to join his friends in a karaoke joint, I think I still have a strand of his chest hair stucked somewhere between my teeth.

Mr Singapore:
Mr Singapore’s opening line was “This is so interesting!” after having sprung out from around a dark corner, grabbed me by my arm and successfully pinned me against the wall. Stark naked butts and crotches (partially-hidden by semi-reluctant hands) wandering about the corridors were indeed a sight to behold, but his child-like enthusiasm reminiscent of a kid tasting ice cream for the first time didn’t quite go well with his mature and hunky outlook. Further probing (heavily punctuated by kissing, hugging and licking) in the privacy of a room confirmed my conclusion of a first-time visitor to the newly discovered secret pleasures of a world too wild even for his dreams. This was his way of celebrating his newfound freedom from an exhausting 5-year-old relationship, he explained. I was interested to find out if the break-up was the reason for this sauna visit, or perhaps it’s really the sauna visit that was the reason for the break-up. (Or he may be still attached, and his partner just now busy preparing dinner for him at home). The only obvious truth at that point in time was that he was new, and that we were having a passionate time together. I found him still wandering about at the lockers area as the crowd dwindled to the pathetic remaining few. Good luck with sauna life, Mr Singapore.

Mr Thailand:
While the other contestants relied heavily on sheer muscle power to land their meal, Mr Thailand delivered his killer blow with just a smile revealing a set of clean white teeth on a face so overflowing with boyish charms it’s heart-breaking to tear my sight off it. This age-old lethal combination worked quickly to unarm all defences and rendered the victim too helpless to call for backup. As I laid there being devoured by my prey, I remembered utilising my mental capacities to conjure up at least this Thai phrase which had miraculously stick on despite having learnt how to say it almost six months ago: “Yin Dee Tee Dai Roo Jak Koon”, which basically means “Nice to meet you.” Of course, if I had paid more attention during my online Thai lessons, it would definitely be more appropriate to say “Nice to be eaten by you.”

Mr Hong Kong:
Minus the dark-framed specs, Mr Hong Kong stroke an uncanny resemblance to a colleague I used to have a crush on. His thick hongkie English accent, however, should be almost impossible to imitate. As I kissed his lips and ran my fingers into his thick spiky hair, I thought I asked if he knew I was secretly admiring him from behind the queue in the office cafeteria, or across the shelf in the convenience store, or from among the morning rush hour crowd in the elevator. Perhaps these are answers I will not hear, but at least I got to ask it straight at the face of someone who looked like him. After we’re done, Mr Hong Kong continued to hold on to me as we caught our breath against the wall watching the crowd wandered along the corridors of the dimly lit maze. For once, I felt like going to work again.

While on the bus back to KL, I saw the most magnificient sunset and imagined myself in the arms of my superstars all over again.

BRAVEHEART [89][90][91][92]

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