Saturday, November 26, 2005

The KL Pink Districts: Setapak

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  • Celsius Sauna: This cramped, disorganised, college students-infested neighbourhood recently celebrated its inclusion into the line-up of pink districts in KL, with the opening of Celsius Sauna. Managed by the same owners of Manatus and Steamworks, come with no expectations and you may just be pleasantly surprised.
  • Diamond Massage: Tucked in a secluded corner is the sole gay massage outlet in the length and breath of Gombak and Setapak. Tell me your experience if you have been there before.
  • Related Postings: Celsius Map of Indulgence

The KL Pink Districts: Kelana Jaya

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  • Kelana Jaya Swimming Pool: As the Tun Razak pool is to Cheras folks, and Chin Woo is to the Chinatown downtown folks, the epicenter of gay activities for PJ folks is the Kelana Jaya swimming pool. Discretion is of the utmost importance amidst schools of children and unsuspecting straight couples sharing the facilities. It is not hard to conclude though, that guys who pay RM3 to hang around in the changing room or bounce about at the edge of the pool have anything but swimming in their agenda.
  • Kelana Jaya Park: When the straight crowd gets too overwhelming, the frusfrated horny ones, eager to get off weeks-worth of load, conveniently hop over to the adjoining park to continue their cruise, reinforcing yet again the symbiotic relationship of pools and parks. Definitely not as crowded as Tun Razak, you must be warned too that gay men talked about the legend of a murdered gay victim floating on the lake as often as topics of beauty, skincare and fashion.
  • Steamworks Sauna: From the same owner of Manatus and Celsius, comes another recent addition of small scale, low-turnout, poorly equipped and sometimes ill-maintained sauna for the convenience of PJ folks who would rather bear with all these inadequacies than to getting lost driving to saunas in other areas while braving the KL notorious traffic jams.

The KL Pink Districts: Jalan Ipoh

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The KL Pink Districts: Chow Kit

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  • Otot-Otot Sauna: Amidst sleazy karaoke pubs, run-down massage parlours and filthy back lanes, lies the crown jewel of KL's sauna scene. Come home to a tastefully refurbished courtyard area complete with koi pond and jacuzzi in a lush and quaint setting. Internet-enabled PCs running at a legacy dial-up speed of 28.8kbps and processor speed of 250Mhz reinforces heart-felt message of the owners that you don't pay RM35 to surf the Web in a gay sauna. The owners would also like to ensure that your experience are made more memorable with sex on cold, hard and wet tiled toilet floors, which most conveniently for them, are far more easier to maintain than the mattress and wooden flooring of Mirage. Popular time slots are weekend evenings.

The KL Pink Districts: Central Market

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  • Chin Woo Swimming Pool: A semi-retired cruising hotspot, frequented mainly by Chinese guys and their admirers, including some regular GWMs who are as old as the ancient pool itself. 'Sleazy' most probably do not do justice to the horrible condition of the shower stalls and changing rooms. Please head elsewhere if you need to get comfortable with your catch.
  • Petaling Street: Commonly known as Chinatown among the gwai lows. If you got lost in search of this place, just look out for a strip of wavy, flimsy, blue-coloured, cheap plastic roof that cost millions of ringgit to build, yet serves no obvious functional purpose. But rain or shine, come here if cheap pirated DVDs, fake Rolex's, immitation handbags do no harm to your ego.
  • Kota Raya Shopping Centre: A legacy gay cruising hotspot that is best left to the museums, yet this place is surprisingly still burstling with activites. Frequented mainly by sleazy-looking horny men in equally sleazy-looking toilets in search of a quick fix on their way to catch a express bus back to Ulu Yam at Pudu Raya.
  • Pasar Seni LRT Station: Sleazy men bored of Kota Raya might drop by at the toilet here in search of unsuspecting fresh meat. Be warned. :D
  • Liquid Disco: A super-pretentious, mega-ostentatious and giga-shallow hangout fit for the super-gorgeous, mega-desirable and giga-cocky men in the length and breath of Peninsula Malaysia. Look out for half-naked hunky musclemen with lotus fingers and loose anus, over-dressed sisters with 10cm thick concealer and squeaky voices, expired uncles in screaming tees and teenage accesories, and the occasionally grandpas eager to show off their 50s dance steps. You won't notice the dirty rich men coz they will be all covered by semi-money boys who work as part-time shampoo girls or cosmetic counter attendants during the day. Take note: The Desirer's arrive before 12midnight, and Desired's after that.
  • Previous related postings: Liquid On A Saturday Night

The KL Pink Districts: Cheras/Tun Razak

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  • Lost World: Just a stone's throw away from Miharja, this recently upgraded Park, offically called Taman Tasik Permaisuri, transforms from the perfect venue for picnics and jogging to the perfect venue for cruising and cumming right after sunset. Activities peak around midnight. Too afraid of robbers and the police, go to the saunas or hang out online, you wimp! :D
  • Tun Razak Swimming Pool: The park lends a big part of its history to this venue. Horny 'swimmers' who failed to find a good catch at the edge of the pool or in the showers and lockers proceed to the park, paving the way to the latter's popularity after dark.
  • Previous related postings: A Quickie, Lelong In Lost World.

The KL Pink Districts: Cheras/Jalan Cheras

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  • Massage houses: A relatively new soft spot for this collection of recently added outlets to expand on the line-up of options to spend your hard earn money.
  • Kakiku Sauna: Emerging from amongst the massage houses comes this latest wonder to hit the local sauna scene after an abrupt end to Mirage. Come and decide how long it should top the popularity chart.
  • Previous related postings: The New Queen of Sauna

The KL Pink Districts: Cheras/Miharja

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  • Normal or Bukak?: Springing up faster than mushrooms after a rainy night, these massage outlets have never seen better business and are expanding like crazy. At any one time, 5 or more outlets, spread across a mere 4 rows of shophouses, are competing for your attention and money. Can't find your masseur of choice? Just walk over to the next one! Spoilt for choice? Start with the Thai boys.
  • Miharja Condos: A large population of the Cheras queer cuties are rumoured to dwell here. Hang out at the mamak stalls to catch them after a night's worth of clubbing (or cruising).
  • Manatus Sauna: Sick of watching semi-disgusted expressions of straight guys jerking you off after a massage session? Drop by Manatus and try your luck with the line-up of good old queer buddies instead. Of course, when survival & money is out of the window, in comes pride, rejection, hope and pain. Tell me which one you prefer.
  • Previous related postings: RM35 to have a straight guy jerk you off, Fresh Meat Market.

The KL Pink Districts: Bukit Bintang

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  • Cafes: It's considered the IN thing to be seen chatting with fellow sisters over a cup of overpriced cappucino or frappucino while browsing fashion magazines on weekend afternoons or at night, while waiting for the clubbing scene to heat up. Check out what's hot and what's not, who's in and who's out as a steady flow of meat sashay their way along the walkways. Popular outlets are Dome, Coffee Bean/Tea Leaves and San Francisco. For once, put your bluetooth to good use by having it turned on and set to 'Visible' to exchange interesting messages, movies and pictures with senders with names like 'blueboy69', 'cockguy' and 'topmen8'.
  • Green Lotus Cafe: A quiant little place that serves reasonable, but overpriced food, for that perfect gloomy setting to hide your pores, cover up the wrinkles, or some hanky panky under the table. Straight couples have recently invaded this gay hangout, intentionally or otherwise, boosting the business and at the same time, breaking the record of the dunno-what-name gay cafe that survived 13 months before closing down.
  • Blue Boy Disco: This ancient disco, popular amongst the Malays and their admirers, recently underwent a much-needed facelift. Not sure which plastic surgeon was surmmoned, but go check out the result for yourself. There is a shop next to it that sells gay porn as well, if that is your cup of tea. I would rather go interactive with a breathing meat.
  • Day Thermos Sauna: This illusive hangout is pretty much out of the picture amongst frequent visitors of saunas locally. Not sure how they have survived, if they have in fact survived.
  • Say Yes Karaoke: Come witness the congregation of singer wannabes in the epitome of Ah Beng/ Ah Lian culture in its most unpretentious form, complete with LOVE (couples hugging and kissing in celebration of joyous sisterhood), DRAMA (sisters in the midst of catfights over new-found meat), SUSPENSE (aunties reluctantly coaxed onto stage to relive her hey days with fresh renditions of classic chinese songs) and JOY (when it's finally my turn to sing after having waited for 2 hours).
  • Bambusa Sauna: This sleepy sauna which used to be frequented by expired uncles might witness a breath of fresh air in its line-up of clientele with the abrupt shut down of Mirage. Patrons will appreciate it's very central location, if they don't mind having the entire length and breath of road users along busy Jalan Bukit Bintang witnessing them entering the staircase with a greenish loud signboard announcing its presence.
  • Lot 10: Just a collection of labels selling self-glorifying, ego-enhancing, age-defying products before Einstein's relativity theory fails on you.
  • Sungai Wang Plaza: Running out of pretentious things to do? Just cross the road and join the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians who have come from as far as Sungai Siput or Bukit Kayu Hitam to congregate here to satisfy their dressing needs. Flashy handphone covers, made-in-china sourvenirs, graphic tees, stuffy air, bubble tea, and Chinese New Year songs that start to play as early as two months ahead are the norm here.
  • Low Yatt Plaza: When you have had enough of bargain-hunting for IT accesories, drop by the washrooms and check out the peep holes on the wall partitions on the toilet cubicles. Unsuspecting straight technies mostly fresh out of college are eager to put up a good show for you. Or you might just get lucky and land yourself a good slab of meat for dinner. Follow the rainbow signboard and find yourself amidst a treasure throve of the largest collection of gay-themed movies that would only be screened in Malaysia over the dead bodies of our beloved pakciks in the Censorship Board.
  • Frangipani Bar: On Friday nights, come witness a wondrous display of exquisite exhibits in equally elegant poses maintained in (or forcedfully restored to) their most glorious state with breathtaking record-breaking feats including the highest concentration of LV and beauty & cosmetics products, the highest frequency of contact details, gossips and tips exchanged and the highest voltage reading ever recorded in areas outside of the national power grid system.
  • Previous related postings: I Blue You You Blue Me, Close Encounter of the Dutch Kind, Goodnight Mr MD, On Any Pathetic Saturday Night, Treasure Find in Low Yatt

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A Love Bite

A love bite, administered at the height of passion, not on the comfort of a fluffy bed, but against a hard, cold and wet tiled wall of a dimly lit toilet cubicle; not carelessly placed on the vulnerable skin on the neck so as to cause embarrassment, but thoughtfully dispensed on the tender yet firm flesh on the butt, to conceal it from undeserving attention.

A love bite, with its surrounding blood vessels sucked to destruction, yet existence is subtle like the lingering perfume of faceless strangers by the street, like the quiet fluttering of butterflies amongst roses in full bloom, but at times, apparent like the certain, though faint, throbbing of an infant’s heart, like the intense and incessant flickering of a light bulb gone mad.

A love bite, an intentional poison, an evil plan, a wicked arrangement, to extend physical complications beyond expiry. It forms a reminder to facilitate easy, though often undesirable, reminiscence of a vivid, intimate, episode from the not-so-distant past, from the recently concluded ending, and for the victim to quietly savour, yet again, pleasure long lost, contentment long gone, delight long vanished.

A love bite, gradually it fades away, as with all short-lived memories. Burst blood vessels heal, intimacy gone, feelings put down, heart is mend, hurt is forgotten. Soon, the skin is clear again, and the victim emerged unfazed, unperturbed, untroubled, and is ready to brave the world once more.

A love bite ...

A love ...

A ...



Bambusa: A Map of Indulgence

Lower Level:

Upper Level:

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Monday, November 21, 2005

The New Queen of Sauna

In yet another wave of change, the KL pink sauna scene is set abuzz again with the addition of yet another contender, apparently a strong one too. Emerging from amongst the massage houses in Cheras comes Kakiku, freshly renovated and eager to capitalize on the extra pink dollar from the void left by the sudden departure of Mirage. With an attractive line-up of special activities up its sleeve such as foam parties and naked nights, many of Mirage’s regulars are now marking their next available Sundays to check out the hype, and hopefully relieve some pressure off their cum bags who are just now encountering record-breaking fullness.

Occupying a single floor space of a few shophouses combined, Kakiku certainly packs potential. The eagerness to climb to the top of the sauna popularity chart is quite evident from the line-up of very customer-centric staff, effort to generate excitement with special scheduled activities, an acceptable level of cleanliness, properly air-conditioned environment and a constant supply of consumables (chinese tea, water, mints, soap, hairgel etc).

But then, we are, still, around 2 light years away from the saunas in our beloved neighbouring countries:

  • Poor planning means an awful waste of space and potential. Some rooms and facilities are obviously underutilized because of ill-anticipated intent, or it could be just that the management has simply ran out of money for further renovation.
  • No private rooms (unless you are willing to pay extra) and a relatively bright common dark room means all indescribable acts have to be executed in the privacy of wet and cold toilet stalls, or held back until after eight when the dark room opens.
  • Not enough cruising spots for the golden opportunity to grab the meat of your desire.
  • 'Foam Party' should rightly be renamed just 'Foam Shower' instead.

In the absence of a more deserving candidate, one month and 5 days after the departure of Mirage, I now declare Kakiku as the new Queen of Saunas.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Celsius: A Map of (Potential) Indulgence

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In an interesting twist of events post Mirage days, the sauna waves finally arrive in Setapak. Nestled amongst the hustle of the busy shophouses strip along Jalan Genting Klang, this month-old hangout still have alot of catching up to do as most of the facilities on offer are down to the bare basics, its only saving grace being the open air showers.

I'm sure the two other uncle patrons who were around at that time would raise their feet in approval too.

Right now, I rate it a luke warm 30 degree celsius.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Which World Do You Live In?

In The Ideal World:

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In The Not-So-Ideal World:

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Sunday, November 06, 2005

My Towel Club Superstars

Mr Malaysia:
Armed with a sexy heart-shaped patch of chest hair on his toned body, Mr Malaysia made his presence felt with the slightest effort. One clean sweep and I found myself buried in his tight embrace, bringing my orientation tour for my newbie sisters around Singapore’s most happening sauna to a premature end. Exuding earthly charms was his unassuming smile and his unpretentious form of English that was miraculously spared from any Singlish influences despite having lived and worked there for 15 years. We joked, wrestled and exchanged massage tips but I had to stop him from breaking into a full-fledged presentation of the latest Cantopop from Leo Ku right there in the room amidst peals of moanings and sighings from the other rooms. Mr Malaysia left early to join his friends in a karaoke joint, I think I still have a strand of his chest hair stucked somewhere between my teeth.

Mr Singapore:
Mr Singapore’s opening line was “This is so interesting!” after having sprung out from around a dark corner, grabbed me by my arm and successfully pinned me against the wall. Stark naked butts and crotches (partially-hidden by semi-reluctant hands) wandering about the corridors were indeed a sight to behold, but his child-like enthusiasm reminiscent of a kid tasting ice cream for the first time didn’t quite go well with his mature and hunky outlook. Further probing (heavily punctuated by kissing, hugging and licking) in the privacy of a room confirmed my conclusion of a first-time visitor to the newly discovered secret pleasures of a world too wild even for his dreams. This was his way of celebrating his newfound freedom from an exhausting 5-year-old relationship, he explained. I was interested to find out if the break-up was the reason for this sauna visit, or perhaps it’s really the sauna visit that was the reason for the break-up. (Or he may be still attached, and his partner just now busy preparing dinner for him at home). The only obvious truth at that point in time was that he was new, and that we were having a passionate time together. I found him still wandering about at the lockers area as the crowd dwindled to the pathetic remaining few. Good luck with sauna life, Mr Singapore.

Mr Thailand:
While the other contestants relied heavily on sheer muscle power to land their meal, Mr Thailand delivered his killer blow with just a smile revealing a set of clean white teeth on a face so overflowing with boyish charms it’s heart-breaking to tear my sight off it. This age-old lethal combination worked quickly to unarm all defences and rendered the victim too helpless to call for backup. As I laid there being devoured by my prey, I remembered utilising my mental capacities to conjure up at least this Thai phrase which had miraculously stick on despite having learnt how to say it almost six months ago: “Yin Dee Tee Dai Roo Jak Koon”, which basically means “Nice to meet you.” Of course, if I had paid more attention during my online Thai lessons, it would definitely be more appropriate to say “Nice to be eaten by you.”

Mr Hong Kong:
Minus the dark-framed specs, Mr Hong Kong stroke an uncanny resemblance to a colleague I used to have a crush on. His thick hongkie English accent, however, should be almost impossible to imitate. As I kissed his lips and ran my fingers into his thick spiky hair, I thought I asked if he knew I was secretly admiring him from behind the queue in the office cafeteria, or across the shelf in the convenience store, or from among the morning rush hour crowd in the elevator. Perhaps these are answers I will not hear, but at least I got to ask it straight at the face of someone who looked like him. After we’re done, Mr Hong Kong continued to hold on to me as we caught our breath against the wall watching the crowd wandered along the corridors of the dimly lit maze. For once, I felt like going to work again.

While on the bus back to KL, I saw the most magnificient sunset and imagined myself in the arms of my superstars all over again.

BRAVEHEART [89][90][91][92]

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Off To Singaland

(Author is currently busy savouring delicacies from the south. Erm, minus the bumps, please.)