Friday, November 30, 2007


A guy stopped me as I was sashaying my way down the stairs after Bodyjam.

“Hey, do you remember me?” He asked.

I turned around and sensed some familiarity in his smile, but said, “Erm.. not really. You are?”

“Oh, we met in Mandi-Manda some time back.” He said softly.

“Oh okies. I haven’t been in awhile.” I adjusted my backpack strap and started my descent down the stairs slowly again.

“It’s OK, maybe I’ll see you there again sometimes?” He pushed further.

“Nah, I’ve retired from the scene.” Turned around before waiting for the sentence to finish and left.


I have lived the past few years wondering if I’ll ever find the courage to remove myself from this diseased obsession. As I pushed open the glass door, I turned back and gave this guy, the remnants of my past, a wide, cheeky smile before the warm evening sunlight hit my face that was right now bathed in a seemingly surreal sense of total emancipation.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

One Sunday Evening

I stood by the window in my bedroom, admiring the city skyline which was right now shimmering in the golden sunlight of a weekend evening. There was a gentle breeze flowing through the wide open windows. I closed my eyes and focused on the peals of laughter from the children playing by the pool downstairs, and picked up the distant hum of the passing train along the way. From the kitchen came a cacophony of clanking utensils as Mum busied herself with preparing dinner.

There was something surreal about this whole experience – it’s Sunday evening and I’m at home.

It feels not too long ago when I first roamed the realms of those sweat-choked, cum-choked dark room territories. The countless hours of mindless, fruitless hunting games, I knew that wasn’t what I wanted right from the start, yet it was strangely addictive. I was helplessly pulled in to the whirlpool of lust, lured week after week with the promise of love, and let down again and again by the games of deception and lies.

If I have the energy to go on, why not the courage to put this to an end?

And it seems now, five years since I embarked on the journey in search of love in all the wrong places, it will now end exactly where it has begun. On ground zero, I have a collection of experiences and encounters that, even though were heart-felt and vivid as they unfolded, have failed to stand the test of time, and I have emerged with wounds that perhaps may never heal. But on ground zero, I have now gathered enough reasons to set off on a separate path, away from the dizzying darkened corridors and the depressing weekly routine of hopes and disappointments. This path smells of the sweetened promise of a stable relationship and the reassuring reward of security and stability.

A much anticipated end to an overdue chapter of my life. I smiled as I helped Mum with the dishes and set the table for dinner, my first dinner on Sunday at home since as long as I can remember.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Saturday, November 03, 2007

The Fantastic Three

If you are tired of all the mindless and fruitless hunting games in saunas, or of the frusfratingly disappointing latest IRC/ meetup who did not seem the least like the guy in his profile photo, or the piercing pain of rejection from a tired boyfriend, it's comforting to know that you can now take matters into your own hand, literally.

First, revisit the climatic pleasures afforded by the tight sensation of a male butt, now made from supersoft skinlike material for the most realistic touch. Behold the Butt banger:

Or if taking the pleasures of the world from your back is more of your line of business, then perhaps the 10" Ty Fox realistic cock would do you wonders:

Still, if you suddenly have a craving for the gentle suction of a hungry mouth ready to take every inch that you can cook up during the long drive home, the remote-controlled vacuum function Auto suck comes complete with a car-lighter plug and is ready at your service 24/7.

Time to give the sauna owners a run for their money?