The Ritual

I thought it was not too long ago that I had stood here, in this same spot in front of the gleaming monochrome iron gates of Aunt Susie’s house, yet it was time again for the Ritual. One last check to confirm I had meticulously disassociated my attire with any remnants of the much dreaded colour Black (sometimes even shades of gray), and then I twisted the lock that duly let out a deafening squeal, signaling my arrival to the occupants inside.

A glorious glare of Gold and Red blinded my vision as soon as the living room came into sight, but I already knew what to come. Like a clockwork toy that had just been freshly wound, my hands immediately curled together in an auspicious embrace, and age-old proverbs that conveyed wishes of longevity, prosperity, beauty, health and wealth starting flowing out of my mouth. My expressions had cooperated well in a harmonious act, I believe, for I was rewarded with red packets and the satisfied looks of both Mum and Aunt Susie, who were just now gleaming from ear to ear, wrist to wrist, ring and chain. Senseless pleasantries soon erupted. In this auspicious day, one had to be generous in dispensing compliments and greetings of the sweetest form that seemed fit only for the Gods.

Amidst piles of brightly-coloured toys, half empty drinking glasses and packet drinks, stray ang pow packets, pineapple tarts and peanut cookie crumbs and different crumbled sections of the New Straits Times, I embarked on a laborious act to create a space to land my butt on. Cousin Elaine was totally occupied with the task at hand - ensuring that a little bowl of porridge would disappear down the throat of two-year-old Neng Neng, and thus looked like the least harmful place for me to spend these long hours in, hopefully too far a distance for prying questions about my singlehood to traverse.

A splat of hot porridge erupted and landed on my jeans. Neng Neng, just over thirty seconds since my arrival, had decided that it was time to declare war on her Mum, denying any further consumption of the (tasteless) nutritious porridge that she was being forced down with. A scene of disbelief, anger, struggle and panic, packed with enough dramatic effects the likes of Chinese Opera, immediately ensued, as Cousin Elaine evaluated the damage of the overturned porridge bowl, its content hitting the farthest end of the living room. Cousin Hwa passed the phone from his brother who had called from the States over to Uncle Frankie and rushed over for damage control, only to increase the volume of screams from Neng Neng. Joining the scene were praises from Aunt Susie, pleasantly amazed by the strength of her adorable grand daughter, followed by lectures by Cousin Julie about the importance of early childhood disciplining.

Obviously unimpressed by the act of his little sister, Jern Jern grabbed the remote and decided to share a Chinese New Year variety show with everyone in the room. With tunes played to death since time immemorial blasting in the background, the hostesses were dispensing feng shui tips and the new year’s insights with folks who were either too naïve or lazy to decide fate on their own. Uncle Frankie struggled to hear his beloved son on the phone, and launched a tug of war with this grandson for the remote. Of course, he forgot entirely about a similar set of buttons on the TV unit itself.

Grand-cousin Yang Li lay motionless on the single seater sofa, slumped on top of a pile of teddy bears and other soft toys, seemingly unamused or disinterested by the happenings around her. Her eyelids slowly drew close, then suddenly jerked ajar, conscious of the resulting displeasures from her Mum who had warned her about the effects of staying up late to finish her long overdue home assignment, and of course, the dreaded comparison she would make with younger sister Yang Min, who seemed more organized and academically gifted.

I couldn’t seem to piece together the events that followed, yet somehow amidst the chaos were laughter and sharing, and admist the senseless pleasantries were a stronger force of family ties and undeniable emotional connections that had persistently brought us back here together, on this first day of the first month of the Chinese lunar year.

The Ritual, age-old and disconnected from modern times as it may be, had yet again served its purpose.

A Little Pre-CNY Dream

Our eyes met again. Against the muted hum of the lift lobby air conditioning on a quiet late pre Chinese New Year afternoon, we continued to lock on to each other, quietly, as you continued your walk from the washroom back to your desk at the left wing, and me, in my stationary state waiting for the elevator to arrive.

Each second seemed to last the longest of time, every blink of the eye, every breath, every anxious tap of fingertips against the side of my pants, every slight quiver on the lips were frozen and broken down into frames before being played back in sequence, like a painfully long-winded yet vibrantly stunning Wong Kar-Wai movie. Greedily, we fed our brains with images of each other, praying that they would last another long weekend before and extend their survival beyond the festive season.

As you advanced to within an arm’s length from me, our lips curled upwards, almost breaking into a smile, and our throats cleared, almost breaking into a ‘Hi’. But then my olfactory sensors drowned in your perfume, and I lost my bearings. Our eyes struggled to lock on as you continued on your path. Any extended contact would mean an unnatural twist to the neck, and so reluctantly, we let go of each other, and retreated back into our little worlds.

Yet another futile contact, so close yet helplessly far. While I would normally celebrate a quiet personal victory of having demanded your attention for even just a few seconds, this time there was a new surge of panic. The days of our delirious encounters are numbered. Just another month and I’ll be moving on to another location. Will fate take a twist if you were to know this?

The elevator door held open briefly, before closing shut again in front of me. I adjusted the strap of my laptop, took in one final breath of the remains of your lingering perfume, and imagined that I had wished you:

“Happy Chinese New Year, Uncle.”

BRAVEHEART ^[96]

Perhaps Not

He sat on the bench in the Safari Room, quiet, redrawn and oblivious to the busy Saturday traffic, which was just now reaching another peak as they made their way to the foam shower. The floor, a sea of carelessly placed pebbles, seemed to swim in and out of focus under the subtle hum of candle lights. For a very long time, his head continued to hang low, hands interlocked in a tight embrace with each other, as if in the deepest of thoughts.

Perhaps our session just now was too intense he needed time to quietly savour every moment and track every piece of action and emotion that had transpired, right from the anxious shiver of our first contact to the pleasant shudder of the climax at the end. Perhaps not.

Perhaps he knew I was watching him from the bench on the other side of this tiny room that stood between the hangout area and the action area of Kakiku, and was busy contemplating if it would break the standard arrangement if he were to maintain contact after the session was over. He could be fighting an internal war, one between pride and pleasure, and was rendered helplessly motionless as it ran its entire course. Perhaps not.

Perhaps then, the lingering smell of our cum on the towel wrapped around his body was too disarming. Intertwined in a giant mess of cotton fibers were the sinful, potent deposits evident of breathtaking moments on the bed in the common dark room moments ago. And he could not overcome the pity of having all these washed off his body just yet, for he was the one who had so diligently collected them, every last drop of it, with his towel. Perhaps not.

Perhaps he was afraid that the mere raising of an eyebrow, or the slight curl of his lips, or the most subtle twitch of his finger tips would send enough courage and motivation on me to immediately rush over to him and be once again, drown in a sea of lustful desires afforded by a very accomplished physique. And so, he killed all actions and shut off all reactions, to everyone in general, and to the one single guy he had given his undivided attention for, in particular, so that he would not have to face the fear of defeat. Perhaps not.

Skirting the edges between yes’s and no’s, could’s and could not’s, maybe yes’s and maybe not’s are perhaps what made life so worth living. I could never have the answers, but I would be perpetually happy knowing that it could be a YES.

Perhaps love? Perhaps not.

BRAVEHEART ^[95]

Brand New Name, Same Old Place

The friendly Indian carpark operator misses your parking fee.
The hungry stray dog misses you tidbits.
The ignorant housewives living a few doors away misses your laughter.
The seven sins of Mirage misses your indulgences.
The lonely private rooms misses your moans.
The 198 flights of stairs miss your adrenalin.
The tiny steam room and sauna miss your sweat glands.
The plywood cubicle walls miss your cum.

The new owner welcomes you.
The new coat of paint welcomes you.
The new collection of plastic plants welcome you.

Mirage is history,
M Club welcomes you.

Mandi Manda: A Map of Indulgence

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A Map of Indulgence: Kakiku (Updated)

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In nervous anticipation of an increasingly heated competition with the new player in the sauna scene and the impending reopening of Mirage, Kakiku recently speeded up its improvement frenzy to savage customers’ loyalty, with a few pleasant changes to its offerings, including free dinner and double sessions of its famed foam parties during special nights, a third dark room, and the extension of its steam room area.

More grounds to cover, but momentum is picking up. Bravo! *clap* *clap*

Shower Your Head

Amidst much fanfare, thanks to a very well-organised marketing and promotional plan, BravingKL officially welcomes Mandi Manda as the newest member to be listed on the KL sauna directory.

Armed with an impressive line-up of features (among those that stood out was ‘private cabins’) and broadcasting unmistakably overly-pompous and courageous value propositions (such as KL’s new playground for the boys and men’s cruise spa regenerated), anticipation and expectations inevitably shot sky-high.

Perhaps a tad too high.

“We have actually run out of lockers,” exclaimed the front-desk staff. The first day’s turn-out was grossly under-estimated, and many customers who arrived two hours after opening time had to pack their belongings in little travel bags instead.

A quick inspection on the facilities spread across the 3 floors rapidly sent hopes and wishes tumbling down. This new sauna was undeniably new, but here is a list of things it was not:

"Luxurious Seated Rain Baths"
With rough unfinished cement floor and partitions, flimsy-looking shower curtains, now-you-get-it-now-you-don’t hot water, and a miserable bottle of shower gel that was almost running out, the only thing luxurious about the showers was perhaps the volume of water gushing out from the shower heads above, which was strategically placed to effortlessly bring distraught to your perfectly gelled hair. With the absence of an open shower area, the exhibitionist in you who are dying to show off your bubbly bums after a month’s worth of sweat in the gym would be grossly disappointed with the lack of deserving exposure. What about seated bath you ask? I think that equally rough and unfinished slab of raised cement (which was where the shower gel was placed, and was collecting undrained foamy residues from previous occupants) was meant as a seat.

"Multimedia Lounge"
In a roomy area with rough unfinished cement floor and walls (you get the idea), come bore yourself watching the 88th rerun of Great Vacation Homes served on a plasma screen that is permanently programmed to air Astro’s Travel and Living channel. Hang out a bit longer to complete the sight and sound with snores from tired uncles sleeping on the sofas, and peels of laughter from fellow sisters who have found themselves a nice spot to congregate at the walkway outside the lounge for the lack of a better location. Truly the ultimate multimedia experience.

"Private Cabins"
The cabins are indeed a sight to behold. Placed in each of the tiny rooms built with rough unfinished cement floor and walls (ok ok, you get the idea) is the most awe-inspiring piece of furniture ever seen since IKEA opened its door in 1 Utama many years ago. It would be perfectly normal if found in beauty centers offering facial skincare treatment, massage and body slimming courses, but this thick
piece of single-sized mattress punched with a hole right where the face should go and raised to impossible heights with four long steel legs, looks comically out of place in a world where hormones rage and cum stains conquer. Acrophobics should think twice before climbing onto one of these with their new-found meat.

"Group Activity Room"
Two decent-sized rooms which are equally empty, stuffy, a tad too bright and expectedly, deserted. Mosquitoes have group activities here, indeed.

"GH Room"
I know for sure it does not stand for General Hospital.

"Café"
Another piece of equally awe-inspiring furniture can be found here. Savaged from the remains of Restaurant Mamak Abu Bakar down the street which had just closed down two weeks ago, this steel monster, its shiny shelves, compartments and all, conjures too much memories of its previous existence. “Boss, magee goreng satu!” Oops, I meant to say, “Is that cup of hot tea free of charge?”

Welcome to the family, Mandi Manda.

Mirage Is Reopening Soon?

The sauna community is abuzz again with confirmation from eye witnesses relating personal accounts of recent visits to Mirage that hinted of what appeared to be renovation works progressing within the compounds of this sauna. A short visit to the now virtually deserted carpark area revealed a new signboard proudly announcing its presence, something that seemed completely unnecessary given Mirage’s unrivalled fame and reputation. The façade has been given a much-needed new coat of paint, and a mysterious set of door has sprung up besides the old entrance, which is now bearing a piece of A4 paper, proclaiming that Mirage will reopen in December.

And we have reached the last day of this month?

Dear God,

(to be read in one breath)

In the new year to come, please give me the courage to resist the overly addictive lure of physical gratifications afforded by the numerous dim corridors, misty steam rooms, dark mazes and tiny private rooms around town, but blind my vision to the true agenda of guys who roam them; please rescue my tired soul from the constant overly-undiscriminating need to seek attention and affection to prove my worth and justify my existence, and rescue any unsuspecting men whom I have brought grievances and sorrow to in the process; please enlighten me on the true meaning of the illusive word LOVE, but bring me oblivion on hurtful remarks, selfish gestures, and cruel intentions; please help me treasure the beautiful moments and wonderful people that I have been blessed with, but let me leave behind periods of withdrawals, self-doubts and self-denials.

Amen.

A Very Hearty Meal

Suria KLCC recently welcomed Little Penang to its line-up of F&B tenants. Highlights on the menu include, for the price of RM9.90 (excluding taxes), the Penang Nasi Lemak, that comes with a giant smack of mushy rice ball and unidentified lumps of this and that, served on a disproportionately-sized giant white plate.

Let's all welcome Little Penang and hope that the various inadequacies that befell its ill-fated previous tenant, House of Noodle, shall remain a thing of the past, history, departed for good, vanished into thin air, zipped.

Sungai Wang Snow Fight Turned Ugly

Click for a super low-res, grainy and shaky video capture of the Christmas eve snow fight in Sungai Wang, featuring:

• Horny Ah Bengs attacking unsuspecting passers-by (mostly Ah Lians) with confetti and synthetic snow spray.
• Unruly Ah Bengs spraying synthetic snow on windscreens of passing vehicles and raising the wipers at the same time to avoid premature removal of their work of art.
• Angry Ah Bengs ganging up to attack a motorcyclist who had forced his way through the spill of crowd from sidewalks onto the road.
• Uncultured Ah Bengs cursing in Hokkien four-letter words equivalent as a mean to express excitement for being a part of this grand celebration, never mind that they are all Buddhists and had absolutely no blinking idea how to even spell the word 'Christmas' correctly.
  
  

The KL Pink Districts: Old Klang Road

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• Kuala Lumpur celebrates the arrival of the latest pink district to hit town: Old Klang Road, with the opening of Mandi Manda sauna.
• Previous related postings: Shower Your Head
  

Dear Tae,

The moment our eyes met, I had to confess it was just like any other encounters that I had had. That first day of my trip, that first visit to the sauna on this trip, and that first venture into the maze during this sauna visit, it was all it took to lead me to you, didn’t matter how it all fell into place. Perhaps you have been standing there for time immemorial, or perhaps it was just fate.

The moment our lips met, I confess again it was just like any other kisses that I had had. Against the faint light of the lightly-scented private room, Christmas carols playing in the background and all, I grasped, in vain, for a piece of memory that would stood out, only to find them drown in a hundred and one similarly bland episodes of foreplay and climax. Perhaps it was just me, and my expectations, exhausted from the constant replays of hope and disappointments.

But you pushed further, beyond the four walls of the tiny, freezing room, beyond the obligatory brief hug before leaving the room and beyond the soaping session in the open showers. I was waiting to say “Take care and see you around” but the only time you left was to fetch me some drinks that were being served free from the dining area.

In the sofa area by the pool, I fought hard to keep your relentless spirit at bay, only to find my defenses unarmed and my protective shell stripped. Suddenly the other guys seemed to have lost their appeal, was that the moment our hearts met?

That night in DJ Station, it was the tenth time Madonna’s new track spinned. You held me in your arms and asked if you could see me again. I meant to say this was not how I had planned my 10-day trip, but did I just kiss you instead?

So the emotional chaos intensified out of proportion and to my dismay you became a permanent feature of my trip. On our way back from the Floating Market, you pulled me to rest my head on your laps in the van, as I looked up to your face I tried to focus on how you had carelessly swept your hair over your forehead, but caught sight of your dreamy eyes instead. When you rushed over from your office to meet me at MBK, I noted the sorry state of your shoes and your briefcase and thought I could not survive another look at that, but I also noted the drenched shirt and wet forehead from the run in the sun, and how your face broke into a smile when you saw me. At the local market where I accompanied you for lunch, I convinced myself I needed too much adjustment for us to appreciate the same things together, then you hummed me that recent Thai pop that had stucked to my head for many months.

I tried my best not to think of you, I think I tried to hard.

And so we found ourselves at the hotel lobby, the last day of my trip. I did not tell you my heart was aching for a farewell hug and kiss. (My Thai needs improving, I know.) You said “I miss me.” I think you really meant “I miss you.” It turned out to be the simplest and shortest of goodbyes, but I recalled the longest climb up the staircase to my hotel room. My last sight of you standing by the lobby entrance reluctant to leave, got played again and again in my head, and then my feet became increasingly heavy as I took yet another step upwards, yet another little distance further away from you, away from the memories of time spent with you, away from your eyes, your lips and your heart.

I heard it was colder than usual after I left, it rained quite abit here in KL too. This message that you sent me, I promise to keep it in my phone.

"The raining heavily there in kuala lumpur. It is cold here to bangkok. How far ? But i miss you."

Nevermind the English, I got you.

But where do we go from here?

BRAVEHEART ^[94]

Mirage Is Back?

Just as sudden as its closure, words have it that Mirage has miraculously reopened. While I am still stucked trying to fight the disbelief, you may want to drop by and verify this piece of news.

And let me know if you managed to gain any insight into the excuse given for the previous display of seemingly utter disrespect for its customers, however remotely convincing/believable it may seem.

A Map of Indulgence: Kakiku

With its trademark odd angles, blind corners and mindless, useless empty spaces, Kakiku is the epitome of the effects of poor planning and lack of customer insight. What an awful waste of space.

Mandi Manda Is Coming To Town

Time to open up the locked private rooms, Kakiku.

Memoirs Of An Agogo Boy

How could I forget my first taste of alcohol. Amidst blinding spotlights, deafening disco music, and the smoke-choked bar, I thought it helped lessen the nervousness of facing a hundred pairs of eyes packed in sofas and chairs surrounding me, scrutinising every inch of my body that was now clad in just a white underwear, as I swayed awkwardly on stage to the beat. Underneath the thin sheet of material was my artificially stimulated member, veiny and almost ready to spring into instant action. It seemed I had got used to the constant piercing pain of restricted blood flow cause by the cock ring, and was actually ready to show my potential buyer a few naughty moves, or a seductive smile, or an innocent giggle, if that would catch his fancy. And then I checked again to make sure that the card announcing my number was securely pinned to my undies.

How could I forget the stunt we used to put up. Jerking off used to be more fun back then, but it was done now (complete with boy scouts uniforms and cowboy hats) as proof of our assets for careful consideration of the observers, as a form of entertainment in the name of survival, and as a testimony that the performer had now been reduced to mere machines and tools to satisfy every possible desire and fantasy of those who were willing to spend on us. And then when I was ready to cum, I would raise my left hand, walk out of the line and as the crowd cheered, prayed that it would be a less flustered climax the next day.

How could I forget the long wait for my first customer. Those endless replays of joining the parade on stage followed by the inevitable solitary existence on rows of chair packed with eager boys while we sit and waited (normally in vain) for Mama to return with good news that a customer had picked our numbers. It was a startling realisation of a life where battles were fought over precious attention and admiration, a potpourri of gossips, lies, deception and betrayal. There were simply too many of us against too little of the customers who came in hope of fulfilment of a night’s worth of fantasy role-play, rather than to attend an eye-opening, once-in-a-lifetime performance.

How could I then forget the first time I got fucked. He was a businessman, late 40s, balding, beer belly but I remembered having my fascination fed off his gold watch, diamond ring and designer suites. So I told him he looked dashing, and he tore my clothes off like a vulture freed from starvation. Every thrust tore my guts but helped feed my family back home; every submission shattered my pride but restored education and dignity to my deserving siblings; every wound healed to a scar but brought hope to an otherwise bleak future. At times when the pain became too excruciating to bear, I had flashbacks of my childhood life and I thought I was given the chance to relive that again, and then he climaxed and collapsed on my body.

The mirror ball seemed to be revolving abit faster tonight. My eyes kept getting blinded momentarily from the light that bounced off it. I think I had never swayed so well, ever. On the agogo stage, just like the stage of life, it meant the world to break apart. For now, however, I would just close my eyes and enjoy the music.

And then I would wait for Mama to call my number again.

The KL Pink Districts: Setapak

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• Celsius Sauna: This cramped, disorganised, college students-infested neighbourhood recently celebrated its inclusion into the line-up of pink districts in KL, with the opening of Celsius Sauna. Managed by the same owners of Manatus and Steamworks, come with no expectations and you may just be pleasantly surprised.
  
• Diamond Massage: Tucked in a secluded corner is the sole gay massage outlet in the length and breath of Gombak and Setapak. Tell me your experience if you have been there before.
  
• Related Postings: Celsius Map of Indulgence
  

The KL Pink Districts: Kelana Jaya

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• Kelana Jaya Swimming Pool: As the Tun Razak pool is to Cheras folks, and Chin Woo is to the Chinatown downtown folks, the epicenter of gay activities for PJ folks is the Kelana Jaya swimming pool. Discretion is of the utmost importance amidst schools of children and unsuspecting straight couples sharing the facilities. It is not hard to conclude though, that guys who pay RM3 to hang around in the changing room or bounce about at the edge of the pool have anything but swimming in their agenda.
  
• Kelana Jaya Park: When the straight crowd gets too overwhelming, the frusfrated horny ones, eager to get off weeks-worth of load, conveniently hop over to the adjoining park to continue their cruise, reinforcing yet again the symbiotic relationship of pools and parks. Definitely not as crowded as Tun Razak, you must be warned too that gay men talked about the legend of a murdered gay victim floating on the lake as often as topics of beauty, skincare and fashion.
  
• Steamworks Sauna: From the same owner of Manatus and Celsius, comes another recent addition of small scale, low-turnout, poorly equipped and sometimes ill-maintained sauna for the convenience of PJ folks who would rather bear with all these inadequacies than to getting lost driving to saunas in other areas while braving the KL notorious traffic jams.
  

The KL Pink Districts: Jalan Ipoh

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• Mirage Sauna (closed): Sadly, the epitome of the KL cruising scene, takes place here, in this ill-maintained 5 storey high outlet. Horny men from within KL and as far as Ipoh, Penang and Singapore, come to contribute money to the Chinaman owner who just added another Mercedez Benz to his line-up of indulgences. Popular hours include Saturday nights, and Sunday afternoons through nights. Go on a weekday night if closeted fresh meat are your cup of tea.
  
• Nearby chinese hawker place: The big head needs to eat too after a satisfying meal for the little head. Drive over to the shophouses nearby for an excellent spread of dim sum or try out the always packed curry mee stall.
  
• Previous related postings: Kissing A Tattoo On The Back, A Hunk Who Likes To Take It From Behind, A Hunk Who Likes To Wear A Cock Ring, I Know What Your Lover Did Last Sunday, 伤心Sauna, Desperate Old Men, Mirage: A Map of Indulgence
  

The KL Pink Districts: Chow Kit

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• Otot-Otot Sauna: Amidst sleazy karaoke pubs, run-down massage parlours and filthy back lanes, lies the crown jewel of KL's sauna scene. Come home to a tastefully refurbished courtyard area complete with koi pond and jacuzzi in a lush and quaint setting. Internet-enabled PCs running at a legacy dial-up speed of 28.8kbps and processor speed of 250Mhz reinforces heart-felt message of the owners that you don't pay RM35 to surf the Web in a gay sauna. The owners would also like to ensure that your experience are made more memorable with sex on cold, hard and wet tiled toilet floors, which most conveniently for them, are far more easier to maintain than the mattress and wooden flooring of Mirage. Popular time slots are weekend evenings.
  
  

The KL Pink Districts: Central Market

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• Chin Woo Swimming Pool: A semi-retired cruising hotspot, frequented mainly by Chinese guys and their admirers, including some regular GWMs who are as old as the ancient pool itself. 'Sleazy' most probably do not do justice to the horrible condition of the shower stalls and changing rooms. Please head elsewhere if you need to get comfortable with your catch.
  
• Petaling Street: Commonly known as Chinatown among the gwai lows. If you got lost in search of this place, just look out for a strip of wavy, flimsy, blue-coloured, cheap plastic roof that cost millions of ringgit to build, yet serves no obvious functional purpose. But rain or shine, come here if cheap pirated DVDs, fake Rolex's, immitation handbags do no harm to your ego.
  
• Kota Raya Shopping Centre: A legacy gay cruising hotspot that is best left to the museums, yet this place is surprisingly still burstling with activites. Frequented mainly by sleazy-looking horny men in equally sleazy-looking toilets in search of a quick fix on their way to catch a express bus back to Ulu Yam at Pudu Raya.
  
• Pasar Seni LRT Station: Sleazy men bored of Kota Raya might drop by at the toilet here in search of unsuspecting fresh meat. Be warned. :D
  
• Liquid Disco: A super-pretentious, mega-ostentatious and giga-shallow hangout fit for the super-gorgeous, mega-desirable and giga-cocky men in the length and breath of Peninsula Malaysia. Look out for half-naked hunky musclemen with lotus fingers and loose anus, over-dressed sisters with 10cm thick concealer and squeaky voices, expired uncles in screaming tees and teenage accesories, and the occasionally grandpas eager to show off their 50s dance steps. You won't notice the dirty rich men coz they will be all covered by semi-money boys who work as part-time shampoo girls or cosmetic counter attendants during the day. Take note: The Desirer's arrive before 12midnight, and Desired's after that.
  
• Previous related postings: Liquid On A Saturday Night
  

The KL Pink Districts: Cheras/Tun Razak

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• Lost World: Just a stone's throw away from Miharja, this recently upgraded Park, offically called Taman Tasik Permaisuri, transforms from the perfect venue for picnics and jogging to the perfect venue for cruising and cumming right after sunset. Activities peak around midnight. Too afraid of robbers and the police, go to the saunas or hang out online, you wimp! :D
  
• Tun Razak Swimming Pool: The park lends a big part of its history to this venue. Horny 'swimmers' who failed to find a good catch at the edge of the pool or in the showers and lockers proceed to the park, paving the way to the latter's popularity after dark.
  
• Previous related postings: A Quickie, Lelong In Lost World.
  

The KL Pink Districts: Cheras/Jalan Cheras

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• Massage houses: A relatively new soft spot for this collection of recently added outlets to expand on the line-up of options to spend your hard earn money.
  
• Kakiku Sauna: Emerging from amongst the massage houses comes this latest wonder to hit the local sauna scene after an abrupt end to Mirage. Come and decide how long it should top the popularity chart.
  
• Previous related postings: The New Queen of Sauna

The KL Pink Districts: Cheras/Miharja

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• Normal or Bukak?: Springing up faster than mushrooms after a rainy night, these massage outlets have never seen better business and are expanding like crazy. At any one time, 5 or more outlets, spread across a mere 4 rows of shophouses, are competing for your attention and money. Can't find your masseur of choice? Just walk over to the next one! Spoilt for choice? Start with the Thai boys.
  
• Miharja Condos: A large population of the Cheras queer cuties are rumoured to dwell here. Hang out at the mamak stalls to catch them after a night's worth of clubbing (or cruising).
  
• Manatus Sauna: Sick of watching semi-disgusted expressions of straight guys jerking you off after a massage session? Drop by Manatus and try your luck with the line-up of good old queer buddies instead. Of course, when survival & money is out of the window, in comes pride, rejection, hope and pain. Tell me which one you prefer.
  
• Previous related postings: RM35 to have a straight guy jerk you off, Fresh Meat Market.

The KL Pink Districts: Bukit Bintang

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• Cafes: It's considered the IN thing to be seen chatting with fellow sisters over a cup of overpriced cappucino or frappucino while browsing fashion magazines on weekend afternoons or at night, while waiting for the clubbing scene to heat up. Check out what's hot and what's not, who's in and who's out as a steady flow of meat sashay their way along the walkways. Popular outlets are Dome, Coffee Bean/Tea Leaves and San Francisco. For once, put your bluetooth to good use by having it turned on and set to 'Visible' to exchange interesting messages, movies and pictures with senders with names like 'blueboy69', 'cockguy' and 'topmen8'.
  
• Green Lotus Cafe: A quiant little place that serves reasonable, but overpriced food, for that perfect gloomy setting to hide your pores, cover up the wrinkles, or some hanky panky under the table. Straight couples have recently invaded this gay hangout, intentionally or otherwise, boosting the business and at the same time, breaking the record of the dunno-what-name gay cafe that survived 13 months before closing down.
  
• Blue Boy Disco: This ancient disco, popular amongst the Malays and their admirers, recently underwent a much-needed facelift. Not sure which plastic surgeon was surmmoned, but go check out the result for yourself. There is a shop next to it that sells gay porn as well, if that is your cup of tea. I would rather go interactive with a breathing meat.
  
• Day Thermos Sauna: This illusive hangout is pretty much out of the picture amongst frequent visitors of saunas locally. Not sure how they have survived, if they have in fact survived.
  
• Say Yes Karaoke: Come witness the congregation of singer wannabes in the epitome of Ah Beng/ Ah Lian culture in its most unpretentious form, complete with LOVE (couples hugging and kissing in celebration of joyous sisterhood), DRAMA (sisters in the midst of catfights over new-found meat), SUSPENSE (aunties reluctantly coaxed onto stage to relive her hey days with fresh renditions of classic chinese songs) and JOY (when it's finally my turn to sing after having waited for 2 hours).
  
• Bambusa Sauna: This sleepy sauna which used to be frequented by expired uncles might witness a breath of fresh air in its line-up of clientele with the abrupt shut down of Mirage. Patrons will appreciate it's very central location, if they don't mind having the entire length and breath of road users along busy Jalan Bukit Bintang witnessing them entering the staircase with a greenish loud signboard announcing its presence.
  
• Lot 10: Just a collection of labels selling self-glorifying, ego-enhancing, age-defying products before Einstein's relativity theory fails on you.
  
• Sungai Wang Plaza: Running out of pretentious things to do? Just cross the road and join the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians who have come from as far as Sungai Siput or Bukit Kayu Hitam to congregate here to satisfy their dressing needs. Flashy handphone covers, made-in-china sourvenirs, graphic tees, stuffy air, bubble tea, and Chinese New Year songs that start to play as early as two months ahead are the norm here.
  
• Low Yatt Plaza: When you have had enough of bargain-hunting for IT accesories, drop by the washrooms and check out the peep holes on the wall partitions on the toilet cubicles. Unsuspecting straight technies mostly fresh out of college are eager to put up a good show for you. Or you might just get lucky and land yourself a good slab of meat for dinner. Follow the rainbow signboard and find yourself amidst a treasure throve of the largest collection of gay-themed movies that would only be screened in Malaysia over the dead bodies of our beloved pakciks in the Censorship Board.
  
• Frangipani Bar: On Friday nights, come witness a wondrous display of exquisite exhibits in equally elegant poses maintained in (or forcedfully restored to) their most glorious state with breathtaking record-breaking feats including the highest concentration of LV and beauty & cosmetics products, the highest frequency of contact details, gossips and tips exchanged and the highest voltage reading ever recorded in areas outside of the national power grid system.
  
• Previous related postings: I Blue You You Blue Me, Close Encounter of the Dutch Kind, Goodnight Mr MD, On Any Pathetic Saturday Night, Treasure Find in Low Yatt

A Love Bite

A love bite, administered at the height of passion, not on the comfort of a fluffy bed, but against a hard, cold and wet tiled wall of a dimly lit toilet cubicle; not carelessly placed on the vulnerable skin on the neck so as to cause embarrassment, but thoughtfully dispensed on the tender yet firm flesh on the butt, to conceal it from undeserving attention.

A love bite, with its surrounding blood vessels sucked to destruction, yet existence is subtle like the lingering perfume of faceless strangers by the street, like the quiet fluttering of butterflies amongst roses in full bloom, but at times, apparent like the certain, though faint, throbbing of an infant’s heart, like the intense and incessant flickering of a light bulb gone mad.

A love bite, an intentional poison, an evil plan, a wicked arrangement, to extend physical complications beyond expiry. It forms a reminder to facilitate easy, though often undesirable, reminiscence of a vivid, intimate, episode from the not-so-distant past, from the recently concluded ending, and for the victim to quietly savour, yet again, pleasure long lost, contentment long gone, delight long vanished.

A love bite, gradually it fades away, as with all short-lived memories. Burst blood vessels heal, intimacy gone, feelings put down, heart is mend, hurt is forgotten. Soon, the skin is clear again, and the victim emerged unfazed, unperturbed, untroubled, and is ready to brave the world once more.

A love bite ...

A love ...

A ...

...

BRAVEHEART ^[93]

Bambusa: A Map of Indulgence

Lower Level:


Upper Level:


Click on image for larger view.

The New Queen of Sauna

In yet another wave of change, the KL pink sauna scene is set abuzz again with the addition of yet another contender, apparently a strong one too. Emerging from amongst the massage houses in Cheras comes Kakiku, freshly renovated and eager to capitalize on the extra pink dollar from the void left by the sudden departure of Mirage. With an attractive line-up of special activities up its sleeve such as foam parties and naked nights, many of Mirage’s regulars are now marking their next available Sundays to check out the hype, and hopefully relieve some pressure off their cum bags who are just now encountering record-breaking fullness.

Occupying a single floor space of a few shophouses combined, Kakiku certainly packs potential. The eagerness to climb to the top of the sauna popularity chart is quite evident from the line-up of very customer-centric staff, effort to generate excitement with special scheduled activities, an acceptable level of cleanliness, properly air-conditioned environment and a constant supply of consumables (chinese tea, water, mints, soap, hairgel etc).

But then, we are, still, around 2 light years away from the saunas in our beloved neighbouring countries:

• Poor planning means an awful waste of space and potential. Some rooms and facilities are obviously underutilized because of ill-anticipated intent, or it could be just that the management has simply ran out of money for further renovation.
• No private rooms (unless you are willing to pay extra) and a relatively bright common dark room means all indescribable acts have to be executed in the privacy of wet and cold toilet stalls, or held back until after eight when the dark room opens.
• Not enough cruising spots for the golden opportunity to grab the meat of your desire.
• 'Foam Party' should rightly be renamed just 'Foam Shower' instead.

In the absence of a more deserving candidate, one month and 5 days after the departure of Mirage, I now declare Kakiku as the new Queen of Saunas.

Celsius: A Map of (Potential) Indulgence

Click on image for larger view

In an interesting twist of events post Mirage days, the sauna waves finally arrive in Setapak. Nestled amongst the hustle of the busy shophouses strip along Jalan Genting Klang, this month-old hangout still have alot of catching up to do as most of the facilities on offer are down to the bare basics, its only saving grace being the open air showers.

I'm sure the two other uncle patrons who were around at that time would raise their feet in approval too.

Right now, I rate it a luke warm 30 degree celsius.

Which World Do You Live In?

In The Ideal World:


(click for larger view)

In The Not-So-Ideal World:


(click for larger view)

My Towel Club Superstars

Mr Malaysia:
Armed with a sexy heart-shaped patch of chest hair on his toned body, Mr Malaysia made his presence felt with the slightest effort. One clean sweep and I found myself buried in his tight embrace, bringing my orientation tour for my newbie sisters around Singapore’s most happening sauna to a premature end. Exuding earthly charms was his unassuming smile and his unpretentious form of English that was miraculously spared from any Singlish influences despite having lived and worked there for 15 years. We joked, wrestled and exchanged massage tips but I had to stop him from breaking into a full-fledged presentation of the latest Cantopop from Leo Ku right there in the room amidst peals of moanings and sighings from the other rooms. Mr Malaysia left early to join his friends in a karaoke joint, I think I still have a strand of his chest hair stucked somewhere between my teeth.

Mr Singapore:
Mr Singapore’s opening line was “This is so interesting!” after having sprung out from around a dark corner, grabbed me by my arm and successfully pinned me against the wall. Stark naked butts and crotches (partially-hidden by semi-reluctant hands) wandering about the corridors were indeed a sight to behold, but his child-like enthusiasm reminiscent of a kid tasting ice cream for the first time didn’t quite go well with his mature and hunky outlook. Further probing (heavily punctuated by kissing, hugging and licking) in the privacy of a room confirmed my conclusion of a first-time visitor to the newly discovered secret pleasures of a world too wild even for his dreams. This was his way of celebrating his newfound freedom from an exhausting 5-year-old relationship, he explained. I was interested to find out if the break-up was the reason for this sauna visit, or perhaps it’s really the sauna visit that was the reason for the break-up. (Or he may be still attached, and his partner just now busy preparing dinner for him at home). The only obvious truth at that point in time was that he was new, and that we were having a passionate time together. I found him still wandering about at the lockers area as the crowd dwindled to the pathetic remaining few. Good luck with sauna life, Mr Singapore.

Mr Thailand:
While the other contestants relied heavily on sheer muscle power to land their meal, Mr Thailand delivered his killer blow with just a smile revealing a set of clean white teeth on a face so overflowing with boyish charms it’s heart-breaking to tear my sight off it. This age-old lethal combination worked quickly to unarm all defences and rendered the victim too helpless to call for backup. As I laid there being devoured by my prey, I remembered utilising my mental capacities to conjure up at least this Thai phrase which had miraculously stick on despite having learnt how to say it almost six months ago: “Yin Dee Tee Dai Roo Jak Koon”, which basically means “Nice to meet you.” Of course, if I had paid more attention during my online Thai lessons, it would definitely be more appropriate to say “Nice to be eaten by you.”

Mr Hong Kong:
Minus the dark-framed specs, Mr Hong Kong stroke an uncanny resemblance to a colleague I used to have a crush on. His thick hongkie English accent, however, should be almost impossible to imitate. As I kissed his lips and ran my fingers into his thick spiky hair, I thought I asked if he knew I was secretly admiring him from behind the queue in the office cafeteria, or across the shelf in the convenience store, or from among the morning rush hour crowd in the elevator. Perhaps these are answers I will not hear, but at least I got to ask it straight at the face of someone who looked like him. After we’re done, Mr Hong Kong continued to hold on to me as we caught our breath against the wall watching the crowd wandered along the corridors of the dimly lit maze. For once, I felt like going to work again.


While on the bus back to KL, I saw the most magnificient sunset and imagined myself in the arms of my superstars all over again.

BRAVEHEART ^{[89][90][91][92]}

Off To Singaland

(Author is currently busy savouring delicacies from the south. Erm, minus the bumps, please.)

Treasured Find in Low Yatt

What has rainbow colours and features the most complete collection of gay-themed movies that you'd have ever come across in your pathetic queer life in Kuala Lumpur? When you're bored with the peep holes in the toilet, head over here and enter the secluded enclave of the backroom to get your hands on that movie that you heard was making headlines overseas but would never be screened here in Malaysia, unless over the dead bodies of our beloved uncles in the Censorship Board.

And oh, they have a pretty good customer loyalty plan too.

Counting the Days

• to my next business trip
• to being swept off my feet again
• to my next dinner at Cafe Cafe
• to seeing a refurbished Mirage
• to having my blog traffic hit 100,000
• to a sensual massage
• to stop setting expectations on first meet-ups
• to complete the 188 places that I have to visit before I die
• to be able to cry again
• to finding the perfect hair stylist
• to finally put a stop to my nail-biting habit
• to stop searching for love in saunas
• to attending Dad's funeral
• to have ice-cream at 2am
• to another charity drive
• to seeing agogo boy No.98 again

• to stop counting the days

有些人，不值得

有些人，因为秃头干脆将头发剃光好让年纪减轻半载　－　值得
有些人，因为一段几小时邂逅故事痛苦地追求跨国恋情　－　不值得
有些人，因为一段十年的感情放弃新鲜与刺激　－　值得
有些人，因为害怕忘记怎么样驾驶手排档的汽车而放弃自动排档的方便　－　不值得
有些人，因为缺乏自信心而白白花了三年的时间出卖内心的渴望　－　不值得
有些人，因为感情路上受挫折而失去幽默感　－　不值得
有些人，因为放不下自尊心而只敢在黑房里将阳具往你的口里塞却没有胆量在灯光下开口跟你说话 - 不值得
有些人，因为心灵饥饿而沉迷于肉体的满足　－　不值得
有些人，因为追求快感而忘了戴套　－　不值得
有些人，因为渴望一段新恋情而出卖旧情　－　不值得

试图探讨有些人为何认为不值得的事情值得做　－　最不值得

Leo Fitness Center: A Map of Indulgence

Sensing growing competition, Leo recently extended its floor space to deliver what seems like the best sauna offering in the whole of Malaysia. Shame on KL saunas.


* Courtesy of David Chin. Click on map for larger view.