Once Upon A Time In Sugarland

Walking down Westheimer holding two bags of groceries in my hand, my eyes strained to brave the blinding mid afternoon sun. It seemed I would be the only one crazy enough to actually not commute in a car, which may explain why the pedestrian traffic light stayed green long enough only to jolt me from my pithy reverie at the junction, causing me to break into a jog crossing to the other side of the road while the waiting vehicles got ready to be on their way.

I seemed to have done such a great job convincing myself I will never return to this city that the entire episode of experiencing the same settings again had such a surreal quality to it that I sometimes found myself short of air in disbelief. I wanted to reject this reality, yet I knew right from the first day I had arrived, that things didn’t seem like they were the first time around at all.

There were no rushing off for dinners after work, no coffee in Montrose, no kisses in the car, no holding hands in the cinema, no rushing to get ice-cream past midnight, no waking up to Kata, no Sugarland. No hurricanes. No nothing.

Was this still the same city that I had looked down, from the window of the departing plane, with such painful longing for all the things that went right?

The blinding sun kept pounding as I continued my walk back to the hotel, I thought I would never figure out the answer.



讓快樂　為我展開
和你共敘　原是可愛
為我盡力鍍上光彩
無奈惡運難以因你改

逝去舊夢　願你拋開
懷愐舊事　徒令感慨
求求你　讓我躲開
明知跟我沒將來

當飛花要片片飛別離時刻真的不會改
盼艷陽常為你照就如挽回全部愛
多少淚　多少歡樂　化做無盡愛
默默回味過去情意
一一收起關進心坎內

今天美景不能再
不要為我添愁哀
似夕陽在散餘暉
將消失在可見未來

梅艳芳 〈赤的疑惑〉